


Elaine Badour's Diary

by gurjanova



Category: Titanic (1997)
Genre: 1912, 20th Century, Action, Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Bittersweet, Boats and Ships, Books, Diary/Journal, Drama, Drama & Romance, Edwardian Period, F/M, Family Drama, Fanfiction, Fiction, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Historical, Historical Figures, Historical References, Hurt/Comfort, Ioan Gruffudd - Freeform, Love, Novel, Pain, RMS Titanic, Romance, Shipwrecks, Sinking, Tragedy, Traveling, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26427274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurjanova/pseuds/gurjanova
Summary: Elaine is a rich, reckless girl who likes to do things her way. She's going to New York for her sister's wedding, but that wedding means one era of her life is over for her. On the Titanic she meets Harold, and they both change each other's visions of their life. But they only realize that in the sinking moments. Will they ever get a second chance?*under editing*
Relationships: Charles Lightoller/Original Female Character(s), Harold Lowe/Original Female Character(s), Original Characters/Original Characters
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	1. CHAPTER ONE

It was a rather usual morning at the Badour's manner. Servants were flying everywhere, only this time, they were flying about carrying out packed stuff to the car. It was not so early in the morning anymore, compared to when they all woke up.

"Careful with it, those are fragile!"

Mrs. Elizabeth Badour was a 45-year-old stern woman. She liked order and discipline, but most of all, she loved control. On her good days, she was friendly and bright. She enjoyed charity work and badminton. Physically, Elizabeth was in pretty good shape. She was average height with light skin and green eyes. Her blonde hair was usually pulled back in a bun. She grew up in an upper-class neighborhood and was coming from a stable background. She was third of her four siblings. Her mother died when she was still very young and was raised by her father from then on.

The servant she's been talking to just nodded her head and picked up the box. Mrs. Badour was standing in the doorway, watching her servants in the front yard pack things up, when suddenly someone collided into her.

"What on earth—Estella?! What are you doing? Why are you carrying your suitcases?!"

They both walked out in to the yard, Estella putting down the bags she was carrying.

"Sorry, mother. Uh, I thought I could help. It's quite a busy morning, they could use a hand, it won't hurt." she shrugged.

"Oh, please," Elizabeth almost rolled her eyes. "We are paying them for their job, they might as well do it. I expected it more from your sister," she looked at Estella from head to toe to check if she was ready. "Speaking of which, have you seen her this morning?"

"No." Estella simply replied.

"Amelia!" Elizabeth started shouting, going back in the house. "Amelia! Amel—Ah, there you are." she spotted her going down the stairs. "Have you been to Elaine's room yet?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And? Is she awake?"

"She was still asleep when I was in her room."

"Then why didn't you wake her up?! Go, wake her up!" Elizabeth waved her off with her hand.

"She won't need to." a voice came down from the top of the stairs.

"Elaine!" Elizabeth was rather surprised and frustrated. "Why are you still in your night gown with your hair down?!"

"Oh, mother, please…" Elaine rolled her eyes. "I'm sure we still have plenty of time."

"Plenty?! It's ten in the morning!" her mother shouted. "We should be leaving in the half an hour. You had better get ready. I hope you're already packed." she gave her a stern look.

"Charlie already picked up my stuff." Elaine responded as she was bored.

"Good." Elizabeth pressed her lips into a thin line. "Well, Amelia, go help her get dressed." she ordered, not letting Elaine out of her sight until her daughter turned to go back in her room.

* * *

"This is so boring." Elaine said after Amelia closed the door behind her.

"Aren't you exited, miss? You're going on voyage!" Amelia tried to entertain her.

"Would you be excited if you were going just to find you a suitable husband?" Elaine was not even a slightly amused. "Besides, don't sound so enthusiastic for me. You're going with us. Or with me, at least."

"Yes, ma'am, I'm sorry. I just wanted to make you feel better." she blushed out of shame.

"I know, Amelia, but let's know our places. Shall we?" Elaine raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," the young servant opened the closet full of fancy dresses. "What would you like to wear today, ma'am?"

Elaine scanned every toilette with her eyes until she stopped at the blue and white dress with a matching blue hat.

"This one would be fine." she said, as if she wasn't really trying too hard.

Amelia took it out and placed it on the bed which she previously had made while Elaine was still choosing. She was helping Elaine with her corset when Estella walked in.

"Oh, you're not ready yet." Estella breathed and let her shoulders fall knowing she didn't have to keep her posture now.

Elaine eyed her over her shoulder. "Care to give us a hand?"

"Oh, of course." she stepped in.

"Can I do your hair now, miss?" Amelia asked.

"Oh, please do." Elaine responded, just wanting to get it over with. "How much do we have, Stel?"

"Around fifteen minutes." she tightened the last knot on Elaine's corset. "What are you going to wear?"

Elaine nodded in the direction of her bed.

"You're going to wear _that_?!" Estella raised both of her eyebrows.

"I never wore it before." Elaine took offense. "You are wearing that old yellow dress. _Again_. Everyone has already seen you in it."

"I love this dress!" Estella stared at her sister for quite a moment before she made uncertain face. "Should I go change?"

Before Elaine could answer, there was a knock on the door. Elaine took a quick glance at her sister before she focused on the door. "Yes, come in."

The door opened and in the doorway was their brother Philip. "Uh, we would like to go, if you're ready?"

"Yes! Let me just grab my hat." she smiled at him.

"Elaine!" Estella was desperate. "Answer me."

"It's too late now, but you can never go wrong with the good ol' yellow." Elaine fixed her hat and winked at her sister.

* * *

"Edward! You've made it!" Elizabeth hugged and kissed her soon to be son-in-law.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Edward smiled wide. "Hello, darling." he gave Estella a little peck on the lips. "I wanted to surprise you, but most of all her." he looked over at his fiancée and pulled her into his side, her cheeks turning red.

"Oh, good, this voyage won't be so disastrous after all." Elaine got in the picture and hugged him.

"Elaine!" he was rather pleased to see her again. "Always good to see you. And hear you." they all laughed except her mother. She was slightly uncomfortable because of the comment Elaine has made.

"We're all set," standing tall, Kenneth, the man of the family, announced. "And five minutes behind, so I suggest we go now." he was a wealthy businessman, owning two car companies in Europe and on his was to open one in America.

They all nodded in agreement and headed toward the cars, but Elizabeth called for her daughter, causing her to stop climbing into the car where Edward, Philip and Estella were.

"Elaine, won't you sit with your father and I? I'd like to have a word with you." she kept staring at her with her almond-shaped eyes, her lips pressed thin.

Elaine wanted to protest, but decided against it. She almost showed her agreement when her father spoke.

"Beth, please, let kids catch up."

"They can catch up on the boat." she protested.

"It's a ship." Kenneth corrected. "You can talk later. Let's start this voyage right." He looked expectantly at her.

Elizabeth breathed out heavily. "Fine." she said shortly, evidently displeased, before seating herself.

"Thank you, dad." Elaine smiled.

"You're welcome, dear. Go on now, I don't want to waste another second!" she nodded and climbed in with the rest of the youth.

Kenneth had a sweet spot for all of his children. While Elizabeth was always scolding and trying to keep them in order, he liked to spoil them. He was also coming from a stable background as his wife, but he was an only child, raised by both of his parents. He was very much liked by the society, being very friendly, content and kind.

"What do you think that was about?" Estella asked once they were on the road.

"I don't know, probably about something I said." Elaine rolled her eyes.

"Well, maybe you don't always have to say what you think."

"Yeah, well, maybe." Elaine whispered. "But we all know that's not going to happen."

Edward laughed. "At least she'll keep us entertained."

"Please, don't encourage her." Philip said and they all laughed. "Changing the subject, what are you the most excited about this voyage?"

"Ooh, definitely spending time with Ed, walking down the deck hand in hand… It is so romantic travelling on a ship as a couple." Estella was daydreaming.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy that with mom and dad." Elaine said.

"They're an old couple!" Estella argued.

"Is there really a code?" her sister laughed.

"And what are you excited about?" the older one challenged.

"Nothing."

"Oh, c'mon, El, there's got to be something. It's the biggest ship in the world!" Philip said.

"Okay, well then I would say arriving. Getting this over with." Elaine was serious, she hated this subject.

She knew what awaited her once they arrived, and she just wanted to be done with it. Getting married to the man she doesn't love, and barely even knows, just to keep the family name, was too much for her.

"You could be at least happy for me. For us." Estella looked at Edward and took his hand.

"You know what that wedding means for me, Estella. I'd be lucky if _they_ find me someone like Edward. Easy to fall in love and want to marry him, like they did with you." Elaine blinked the hidden tears away.

"Yes, I'm sorry." Estella apologized and looked over through the window, while Philip pulled Elaine into his side.

The rest of the ride went more in silence than the small talk Philip was trying to make. Once they arrived at the dock, Philip opened the door, and the two gentlemen stepped out first, to help out the two ladies to do so too.

"Well, what do you think?" Philip asked standing beside his sister. "Now that you've seen her…"

Elaine raised her head to take another look.

"It's a ship. Like any other." she shrugged, not being overly interested.

"Oh, my God, Elaine, you can be unimpressed by any other thing, but not the _Titanic_!" Philip argued.

Elaine kept staring at the distance. With that serious look on her face and lips pressed in a thin line she was the spitting image of her mother. Actually, she was a complete younger version of her. With only few exceptions, like her dark brown hair and eyes. They were both aware of that and it wasn't known which one hated it more.

"Hello? Elaine? Did you hear me?" her brother was shouting and waving his hands.

"Oh, stop it, I heard you." she scolded him and looked at the ship again.

"So, you are impressed?" he smirked.

Oh, she was impressed. She was so impressed that she needed another moment to recollect herself. But she wasn't impressed by the ship itself. Just as she was about to tell him what so impressed her, their father interrupted them.

"It's time to get on board. C'mon, kids, you'll have five long days just for talking." Kenneth patted them both on their shoulders. Elaine smiled at him and stepped forward.

Maybe it won't be as quite disastrous as she thought, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hi, guys! Thank you for reading this. I just want to say that English is not my first language and I am well aware there are some mistakes in writing which I hope doesn't make it hard for you to read and that you can easily understand what I wanted to say. Please, leave me your thoughts whether you like it or not and are you interested in more. Much love, M xoxo_


	2. CHAPTER TWO

The First-Class Reception was located on D deck, preceded by the First-Class Dining Saloon, right at the foot of the forward Grand Staircase and encompassing the entire width of the ship. The Reception area was the first impression of the _Titanic_ for many passengers entering through the two semi-enclosed entry vestibules on either side of the staircase. Around the corner from the Reception Room, forward of the staircase, was the set of three First-Class elevators which ran the length of the stairwell.

"Hello! Welcome aboard." an officer checked their ticket and helped Elaine and Estella onboard.

Elaine forced a smile and nodded as thanks, while Estella verbally thanked him maintaining the conversation. She slowly walked looking around, admiring the inside of the ship. She thought it was so fancy, it doesn't even give you a feeling like you're on a ship. The interior was so rich and lavish. Separate corridors led off of the vestibules to the First-Class staterooms in the forward part of D-Deck.

Elaine found herself drawn to admire the staircase. Each level was constructed in solid English oak with sweeping curves and surrounding spaces paneled in the sleek neoclassical William and Mary style. The balustrades displayed distinctive wrought iron grilles with ormolu swags in the style of Louis XIV. An ornate candelabra rested on the middle railing at the base of the staircase, the light oak color of which contrasted warmly with the white-painted Reception Room.

"Let me escort you to your room, miss." a steward offered his help, waking her from her daydream. She smiled, nodding in agreement and followed him.

He led her to the elevator and they took a ride up to the B deck where the two Deluxe Parlour Suites were located, also called Promenade Suites because they each contained a private promenade deck.

"Here you are." he opened the door and let Elaine walk in. "Is there anything else I can do for you, miss?"

Elaine looked around the room. There was a medium size mahogany bed in the corner with a small night stand table beside it. Right at the foot of the bed was a walnut wood vanity table. In the center of the room was a coffee table with plush chairs on each side of it.

"No, that would be all." she turned to face him. "Thank you."

"Your stuff will be arriving shortly." he said before leaving.

Elaine nodded her head, not caring that much. She put the purse she was carrying as well as her hat onto the table.

"It is _so_ not fair!" Estella protested behind her.

"What is it, sister?" she asked, taking off her gloves.

"Your room is so much nicer. And bigger. I am the bride here!"

"Don't people in love say that anywhere is nice as long as they're together?" Elaine furrowed her eyebrows, smirking amusingly.

"Oh, well, yes…" Estella said, displeased that her sister made a good point. "At least I'm not sharing my room with mom and dad." she said in response, walking out.

"What?!" Elaine shouted after her. "Estella, wait!" she quickly grabbed her hat and went after her.

"It's the parlour suite, Elaine. It has two bedrooms. Edward, Philip and I are on the port side." Estella said once her younger sister caught up with her.

"Now _that_ is not fair! Shouldn't you spend time with mom and dad, see the married life?" Elaine joked.

"Oh, please, we've seen plenty of that. And besides, isn't that gross, what you're suggesting?" Estella made a disgusted face.

After giving it some thought, Elaine said "Yes, I'm sorry. I won't be joking about it anymore."

"Apology accepted. Care to go for a walk with me?" Estella asked once they reached the stairs that were leading up to the boat deck.

"Well, of course." Elaine smiled widely.

Once they were on the deck, a strong wind hit them.

"Oh my, when did it become so windy?" Estella said, holding onto her hat.

"Didn't you want to go for walks with Edward? It's so romantic!" Elaine chuckled and imitated her sister.

"Yes, but in the sunset. _That_ is romantic." Estella looked at the distance, probably imagining the scene.

"You're hopeless." Elaine waved her off.

"Enough about me. What do you make of this?" they stopped at the railing and looked around.

"Eh, it's nice. Can't complain yet." Elaine laughed and looked at something behind her sister.

"Impossible!" her sister shouted looking surprisingly at her.

"Give me a few more minutes, I'm sure I'll find something." Elaine glanced at her sister just to give her an answer, but quickly looked behind her again.

"Alright, what are you staring at?" Estella asked, annoyed.

"Come, walk with me." Elaine moved away from the railing, almost hitting Estella with her shoulder, and started walking down the deck again.

"Elaine," her big sister called suspiciously after her. "What are you after?" she asked when she finally caught up with her.

Suddenly, Elaine lowered her hand, letting go of the hat she was holding because of the breeze. It didn't take much for another strong gust of wind blow to blow off Elaine's hat.

"Oh, my God, Elaine, your hat!" Estella screamed like it was the end of the world.

Elaine wanted to roll her eyes, but was too busy following the situation she purposely caused with her hungry eyes. The hat was dancing in the wind, threatening to fly away overboard, but just as she was hoping for, it didn't. Instead, it flew in the direction of where the group of officers were standing and it lightly hit one of them before falling on the ground. Elaine breathed heavily in and out more than satisfied and hurried towards them.

The officer turned around to look what happened. He believed that someone tapped him on the shoulder, and was surprised when he saw no one behind him, but a hat down his feet. He bent down to pick it up, looking for a lady who seemed to lose it once he straightened up. Right in that moment, Elaine approached him.

"I believe this is yours, miss?" he handed it to her.

"Oh, my God, yes, thank you." she took her time fixing it back on her head. "It's pretty windy out today, I should've been more careful. You're a life saver."

"Always happy to help a lady in trouble." he smiled.

Elaine laughed. "It would be a shame, really, if it went overboard. It is new, I never wore it before. Saved it for this special occasion." she smiled, although it was a white lie. Right now, she was regretting not making a better effort to dress herself.

"Well then I would have to make a jump for it, wouldn't I?" he smirked, looking daringly into her eyes.

Before she could answer her sister roughly grabbed her arm.

"Are you out of your mind?!" she screamed almost into her ear.

Elaine winced back from the sudden reaction from her sister, but before she could say anything, another officer got in the picture.

"Ah, miss Badour, we meet again." he smiled expectantly at her.

"Again?" now it was Elaine's turn to look at her sister. "Care to introduce me to your officer friends?" she raised her eyebrows.

Estella let go off her sister's arm, feeling slightly uncomfortable being put in the spotlight.

"This is officer Charles Lightoller. You should remember him, he helped us board. And this young man, I don't know." she looked at the other officer.

"Oh, allow me to introduce myself. Fifth Officer Harold Lowe at your service, miss…" he offered his hand to Elaine.

"Elaine Badour." she chuckled, extending her arm for him to take.

"Pleasure to meet you, miss Badour." he kissed her hand, not leaving her eyes for a single moment.

She cleared her throat, uncomfortable now that her sister was there, watching.

"And this is my sister, Estella. But some of you already know that." she said the last sentence under her breath.

"Please, keep your comments to yourself." Estella hissed for only Elaine to hear before introducing herself to Harold. "Well now, we should get going. Don't want to keep you from your duties." she chuckled before tugging Elaine after her.

"Good day, ladies!" Lightoller said before they were out of sight.

Harold was leaning on the railing, looking longingly after the sisters, when Lightoller turned to face him again.

"Don't even think about it." he warned.

"What?" Harold was confused.

"Oh, please, you were all over her." Charles fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"I wasn't intending to—"

"No, I know that look. Stay away from her." he warned once again.

"Like you're any better. You're already all friendly with her sister." it was Harold's turn now.

"She is engaged, I was just being polite." the other officer stated.

"And how come I wasn't just being polite?" Harold took offense.

"Because I know you. Listen, I am tired of covering for your little flings. You know the policy, might as well comply by it, for once. This is important, it might cost us everything. Be careful, eh? You are just a fifth officer." Lightoller patted him on the shoulder before walking away.

Harold stood there alone for a couple moments, thinking about what Charles told him. It wasn't like he was going to fall in love with her. One tiny adventure won't hurt anyone.

Or so he thought.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

"What was that?" Estella asked, walking behind her sister.

"What was what?" Elaine responded, playing dumb.

"Don't play dumb with me. You were flirting with the officer!" the older one hissed, quickly checking if someone heard them right after.

"He saved my hat. I was just thanking him."

"He saved your—You basically threw it off your head!" Estella shouted raising her arms in frustration.

"Shall we go get ready for lunch, eh, sister?" Elaine stopped and turned to face her sister, smiling only with her lips.

"Don't change the topic!"

"I'll see you at the table," the young one said before shutting the door in her sister's face.

Estella wanted to yell and bang against the door, but decided against it and just sighed before leaving. In Elaine's room was Amelia who was furling clothes in the closet.

"Leave that, help me change into something more comfortable for lunch," Elaine said, taking off her gloves.

"Of course, miss. Do you have something in particular on mind?" Amelia asked as she quickly stood up.

"Yes, give me that white and purple afternoon dress," she hummed, letting her hair down. Amelia nodded and pulled it out of the closet and they quickly put it on.

"What about your hair, miss?" the young servant asked once they were finished.

"I'll just pull it back. Thanks, Amelia. You can do…whatever you've been doing," Elaine answered, waving her off.

Amelia did a little curtsy and turned away, finding her spot before she was told to help. Elaine was in front of the desk mirror, fixing her dark brown hair to her liking when someone knocked on the door.

"Would you get that, Amelia?" she looked at her in the mirror. The servant quickly stood up and went to the door and Elaine's attention was back on herself. "Who is it, Amelia?"

"It is your brother, miss."

"Let him in," Elaine sighed, looking up in the direction of the door and smiled when her brother walked in. "What's up?"

"Eh, nothing much. Are you ready? I came to escort you to lunch," Philip said, standing in the middle of the room.

He was tall, like their father, muscular with tanned skin. His face was long with a rounded jaw, a flat nose and puffy lips. When his dirty blonde hair wasn’t slicked back, it was always in his hazel narrow eyes, like now. Since he was the heir of the family name, he was always dressed in the finest pieces of fashion.

Him, Estella and Elaine were very close. Maybe it wasn’t so obvious, but emotionally their bond was strong. Being the oldest sibling, he was very protective over his sisters, but also very supportive. He was also highly observant and diplomatic and considered rebellious in his childhood. They often joked that he led Elaine of to the wrong path, but it wasn’t far from the truth that the two of them were often mischievous when they were younger, while their other sister stood off.

"Did Estella send you?" came the reply.

Her brother blinked once, before Elaine mentally rolled her eyes, taking one last glance in the mirror.

"Estella? No," he frowned. "I haven't seen her since we boarded."

"Good!" Elaine said smiling and standing up. "We shall go."

She extended her arm to link it with Philip's.

* * *

When they arrived in the dining room, Elaine saw a few unfamiliar faces seated at the table along-side with her family. She straightened her posture and put-on serious face. Estella and Edward had already been there.

"Ah, here they are!" Kenneth said once he saw them and Elizabeth smiled with her lips. "Allow me to introduce Bruce Ismay and Thomas Andrews who will be joining us for lunch today."

"Pleasure to meet you," Andrews extended his arm to Philip.

"Likewise," Philip shook his hand and Andrews politely smiled at Elaine, to which she had soon returned.

It was Ismay's turn to introduce himself, addressing them with gentleman before shaking hands with Philip and lady before kissing Elaine's hand. She wanted to roll her eyes, thinking how hypocritical he could be, but she couldn't so she forced a smile instead. Ismay offered to help Elaine take her seat, but Philip politely waved him off seeing how uncomfortable Elaine was by his imposed presence and helped her instead. She was seated between her mother and sister, both glancing at her once she sat down, each for their own reasons. Before anyone could say anything more, the waiters brought the food out.

Elaine was silent most of the time, letting her mother and father do the talking with Philip, Estella and Edward adding something now and then. Elizabeth was bragging about the wedding and how big and glamorous it is going to be while Kenneth was talking about extending his car company.

"We hope to find a suitable husband for Elaine after the wedding. Maybe even someone from the guest list. Got any cousins to recommend, Edward?" Elizabeth suddenly said and Elaine almost chocked on her meat.

"Uh…" Edward was astonished.

Estella gave him a _don't answer that_ look and patted Elaine on her back.

"It's okay, here, drink some water." she ordered, handing her a glass.

Elaine took a sip, stood up and muttered an "Excuse me," under her breath before walking out. She walked out on the boat deck towards the head of the ship and leaned over the railway. She closed her eyes and breathed heavily. She was furious. Being handed off to another man like a piece of meat was just so frustrating. And not that her mother really had to say it in front of all the important people they met only an hour ago.

"Miss? Miss? Are you alright?" someone patted her on the arm.

She was twisting her arm, gripping onto the railing so hard that she didn't realized her knuckles turning white. She stopped, once there was a hand on top of her upper arms. Touching her head, she turned to face whoever was speaking to her.

"Yes, yes, I'm—Oh, it's you again," she said, pleasantly surprised.

He laughed. "What a coincidence, we meet again. Though, I wouldn't expect it since were on the ship,"

Elaine stared at him for a while before bursting out laughing. "Oh, you're joking!"

"'Course, ma'am." Harold said, smiling.

They just stared at each other until Elaine's laughter died down. Just when she wanted to say something Philip came rushing in since he saw her speaking with an unfamiliar man.

"Elaine, we have to go. Are you alright?" he eyed her.

"Yes! Mr. Lowe here took care of me!" she flirtatiously looked at Harold.

Harold fixed his posture and put on a serious face feeling slightly uncomfortable and also threatened by another man not knowing who he was to Elaine.

"I didn't do much, sir. Just checked if the miss was alright." he said in a serious tone which intrigued Elaine even more.

"I see," Philip said, eyeing Harold up and down suspiciously and putting protectively an arm around his sister. "Come on, let's go,"

Elaine was looking at Harold who seemed to not pay attention to her anymore until she lost the sight of him.

"Looks like you could have got yourself in trouble." sing-sang a voice behind Harold.

"Are you following me?" Harold turned, annoyed, to face Lightoller.

Lightoller stopped as if to give it a thought. "I wasn't intending to, but now it seems like I should. Besides, you weren't on your rounds and now I see why you were distracted,"

"It was a lady in trouble—"

"It's always her, isn't it?"

Harold stayed quiet. "Well, seems like she won't need my assistance anymore since her man is here."

"Her man?" Lightoller narrowed his eyebrows.

"Yes, don't act dumb, I know you saw him," Harold rolled his eyes.

Charles, in fact, did saw Philip. And he knew he was her brother. He wanted to joke about it with Harold but decided against it. On second thought, it's better the way Harold think it is.

"Anyway, I should get back. My rounds are almost finished. Better use them wisely, eh?" he patted Charles on the back of his shoulder before passing him.

Charles Lightoller was left looking astonishingly in the distance.

* * *

"Ugh, you were such a dick." Elaine was annoyed.

"Language, lady!" Philip warned.

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know what is wrong with you. I was simply chatting with an officer," she protested.

"A male officer." her brother corrected.

"So what?" she raised her arms in frustration.

"A young lady like you should not wander around and flirt with officers."

"I was not—" Elaine wanted to snap, but Philip cut her off.

"Shh, here we are," he said stopping in front of her room. "I wish you a good day and to take some rest and I'll see you at dinner time when I'll also come to pick you up."

Elaine crossed her arms on her chest and pursed her lips, refusing to meet his gaze. Philip sighed and put each of his hands on her upper arms pulling her in and kissing her forehead.

"You know I love you and only wish what's best for you," he murmured against her skin.

"I know," Elaine breathed and leaned against his chin. "I love you, too."

What Elaine didn't say because she didn't want to start a fight with her brother in the middle of the hallway was that what if he didn't know what was the best for her? What if any of them didn't know what was the best for her? Hell, she didn't even know what that was, but talking to Harold felt right.

It felt freeing.


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

It was almost dinner time and Elaine were in her room getting ready with the help of Amelia. She has chosen the silver evening gown with the black lace over the top and tail of skirt. Amelia just finished doing Elaine's hair up and she was ready to go. She stood up and grabbed her purse, which Amelia previously prepared, and headed for the door. When she opened the door there was Philip with his hand lifted up as if he was about to knock.

"Oh, you're ready," he said, lifting his eyebrows.

"I'm ready." Elaine confirmed, annoyed.

"Then we shall go." Philip offered his arm and Elaine slid hers under.

The dining room was now crowded. They were walking slowly towards the table. To Elaine's not pleasant surprise there were new faces at their table again. Only this time quite familiar.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Elaine murmured, annoyed.

"What?" Philip asked.

"Are that Caison's at our table?"

"Uh, looks like it." he fixed his posture.

"Oh my God, they didn't board with us in Southampton, did they?"

"No, we picked them up at Cherbourg."

"Well, yes, obviously. I'm sure they would've also lunched with us if they did." she rolled her eyes and they stopped at the corner to wait for Edward and Estella.

"Look who just arrived." Philip nodded his head towards the table.

"William. Fashionably late, as always." she looked at her brother. "If I'm unlucky enough that's gonna be my 'suitable husband'." she mocked.

"Now, don't be like that," Philip smirked, but looked sympathetically at his sister.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. You, who will get to pick any girl you want. Well, not just any, but anyway you are going to get a girl like me who will marry you just because she _has to_ not because she _wants_ _to_ and that's even worse!" Elaine was staring and shouting at him.

Once she calmed down, she looked around to see that they drew attention of a couple of people who were probably whispering about them now. And before Philip could answer something, Edward and Estella joined them.

Noticing the awkward silence Estella said "Have we missed something?" she looked suspiciously from one sibling to another.

"No! No," Philip was quick to give an answer, stopping Elaine from her witty comments which would make the situation even worse. "We were just having a conversation," he gave her a look which she refused to meet. "A heated one actually."

"Well, okay, if everything is fine, we shall go. I bet mom and dad are going nuts that we're not there yet," Estella made a crazy face and headed straight with Edward arm in arm.

Philip offered his arm again for Elaine to take. She seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"C'mon, I know you're somewhat annoyed with me now, but for the image of us." he murmured.

Elaine sighed and took his arm. "Everything we do is for our image." and they headed off.

"Smile on your face." he reminded her as they approached the table.

"I'm not stupid, Philip.” she hissed back. “I know how to maintain our happy, successful family image." she wanted to roll her eyes, but couldn't so she faked a big smile.

"Ah, here comes our children!" Kenneth greeted them. "What took you so long?"

"Good evening ladies. And gentlemen." Philip verbally greeted them and Elaine flashed a smile. He helped her sit between their mother and sister.

"Elaine, I hope you remember Brandon and Charlotte Caison and their son William. You used to play with him in the garden when they visited." Kenneth was quick to freshen her memory.

Of course, he was quick to remind Elaine. Caison's weighted a fortune and are a good catch. Elaine looked at every one of them with a small smile on her face, her mother praying under her breath that she doesn't say something witty.

"I remember. Though, William grew up and changed a lot. I wouldn't say he's the same boy he used to be." she flashed a smile at him.

Elizabeth let a breath of relief, hoping that Elaine meant well.

As for his physical appearance, that was true. He wasn’t short and chubby kid Elaine used to play with anymore. Now he was taller than her, heavily built and his blonde curly hair got even brighter. His round face was now square shaped, nose smaller and lips angled.

They haven’t seen each other in years, since his father was a wealthy businessman as well and was always on the move, but Elaine remembers him as a kind, dynamic and inventive kid. She could read in his bright eyes that he still got some of the traits, but that he also matured and grew up to be a gentleman, raised to inherit his father’s business one day.

"Back at ya, Elaine," William flashed her a smile and she wasn't sure if he winked at her also so she quickly looked away, her attention on two familiar faces approaching the table that she met earlier today.

"Good, you haven't started without us. Captain will be joining us soon. He just needs to have a quick word with his officers." Ismay declared before sitting down.

Elaine smiled at Thomas Andrews and he nodded to her, kindly returning her a smile. She felt sympathy for that man, unlike for that other gentleman. Kenneth then introduced the two gentlemen to the Caison's and the captain arrived soon after, apologizing.

Soon after the food arrived the men started talking about the business and politics. Elaine felt quite bored and wanted to leave. Actually, she was chatting with Charlotte now and then. Mrs. Caison praised how she grew up into a beautiful young woman. Then her mother jumped in talking about the wedding and finding a husband for her. That was like an indirect propose for Caison's to know that Elaine is available and, in that moment, she stopped listening to them. She was sipping on her drink, waiting for the time to pass by.

"Gentlemen," Bruce Ismay was the first one to stand up. "Who would like to join me in the smoking room?"

"Ah, I shouldn't," captain said. "I wish you a good the rest of the evening." and then he left.

"Do you want me to walk you to your room?" Philip whispered into Elaine's ear.

"No, I'll stay here," she waved him off.

He nodded and kissed her cheek. The only man who was left was William. Leaning his arms against the chair, he looked piercingly at Elaine with his brown eyes. She wanted to spat _what?!_ at him but that wouldn't be lady like so she kept staring blankly at him, waiting.

"Would you like _me_ to walk you?" William raised his eyebrows questionably.

"Actually," she gave it a thought. "I would like to go for a walk instead." she said, knowing that her mother would approve very much of that answer.

"Your wish is my command." he smirked and approached her, offering his hand to help her stand up.

"I won't be long." she said to her mother.

"Take as long as you need, dear." Elizabeth smiled approvingly, encouraging her daughter.

Elaine wished a good night to the rest of them and headed out onto the boat deck with William. They were walking just beside each other, no linking arms.

"It's a lovely evening." Elaine said to break the silence, looking at the sky.

"A bit chilly, though." William shivered. "Are you cold? You can take my coat."

"No, no need—"

"I insist." as he was putting it on her, Harold was passing by.

Elaine, of course, immediately saw him, but he seemed to rush past them without even noticing her. She frowned, not being satisfied with a sudden change of behavior.

"Uh, Elaine?" William asked, his hands still on top of her arms.

"What?!" she blinked at him.

"Shall we continue?" he slightly raised his eyebrows.

Elaine took another moment to realize that they were just standing there doing nothing.

"Yes. Yes, ff course! I'm sorry." she shook her head. "Let's go this way." she pointed in the direction where Harold went.

Elaine didn't realize that she was fast walking and her heart was beating fast, but that always happened when she saw Harold. And now she wanted to see what was so important that he didn't notice her. William was talking, of course, but she wasn't listening. He even made a joke about her being a fast walker, but she didn't care. They reached the area where she could see the bridge, not that William cared what he saw other than her, and they stopped.

"Good thing that you stopped. I need to catch my breath," he laughed at his own joke.

Elaine cracked a smile to not blow him off completely, but kept staring up. She saw Harold talking to another officer, as if he was explaining something to him. The other officer nodded his head in understatement and stood beside him. Harold then looked down as if something had caught his attention. Elaine held her breath. It was her. He was looking at her. She smiled and he nodded his head, touching his hat.

She was glowing. But her triumph wasn't long lasting when he said something to that other officer again and left the bridge. It made Elaine pout and wonder.

"I want you to walk me to my room. I'm tired," she suddenly said to William in cold voice.

"But—", she didn't let him finish, but started walking back.

Although it didn't go exactly how she imagined it, she was satisfied enough that she managed to get his attention in the end. Now she could fall asleep knowing that her first day was a success.


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

On the second day, Badour's had family breakfast on their private promenade. Elaine enjoyed it for a change because it was only them.

"I arranged a tour today afternoon with Mr. Andrews." Elizabeth declared.

"That's wonderful, dear." Kenneth smiled at her.

"Caison's are going to join us as well." Elizabeth looked piercingly at Elaine.

"Looking forward to it." her daughter smiled wide only with her lips, but the smile not quite reaching her eyes.

"Good, good," Kenneth said, tapping his mouth with a napkin in between. "If you'll excuse me, I must leave now. I am meeting Brandon—something about our companies." he wanted to explain, but there were mainly women and what did they know or needed to know, right? "Philip. Will you accompany me, please?"

"Yes, sir." he immediately stood up. Kenneth kissed Elizabeth on the head and they left.

Everyone felt pressure in this family. Starting from Kenneth, he had to save the company. Business was going a little rough, but nothing a good investor can't solve. Also, when the time comes, Philip will take over and he wants to leave him with a stable firm. And that's the pressure on Philip's part. Father has no doubt he'll leave the firm in the good hands and he's even letting Philip design a car of his own.

As much as the wedding is stressful, Estella had other things to worry about. Once she's married, she'll feel pressure from everyone to have kids. One problem pulls another. And although she always obeys the rules and find nothing hard, just this once she would like to have some rest and do things her way in her own pace.

And there are Elaine and her mother. From Elizabeth is expected to lead each child on to the right path, but with Elaine she feels like she's failing miserably. And from Elaine is expected a lot of things. Not just to marry, but to start acting like a proper lady at once. There was a time when they tried to scare her saying that no one will ever want her if she kept behaving this way. Of course, that didn't shake her one bit. In fact, that even encouraged her.

* * *

Going back to her room, Elaine barged in.

"Amelia! Amelia! Where is that girl when I need her?"

"Yes, ma'am?" she ran in from the other room.

"What were you doing out there?"

"Clea—"

"Never mind!" Elaine waved. "We have this stupid tour in the afternoon, I want you to pull me out the finest dress I have. Make it quick!" she clapped.

Amelia nodded and got on to it. After a while she pulled out a silky white dress with black details.

"Will this work?" she showed it to Elaine.

"Yes! Yes! Perfect!" Elaine felt overjoyed. "Okay, we are going an hour after lunch so you are free now. Get back on what you were doing." she replied and soon dismissed her.

* * *

After lunch Elaine rushed back to her room. She was excited to see Harold. At least, she was hoping to see him. There was a high possibility that they'll meet.

"Hurry, Amelia, everything needs to be perfectly set-in place," Elaine said and loudly shut the door. "Where is my dress? You didn't wrinkle it, did you?" she gave her a look.

"No, miss. It's been hanging here since you chose it."

"Okay, good. Come, help me untie this one." she said, already beginning to undress herself.

The two girls worked hard and fast. After getting dressed, Amelia did Elaine's hair by her liking. It was rare that Elaine let anyone choose for herself, but now she let Amelia do what she thought was the best. After Amelia was finished, she stepped back, letting Elaine do her minimum makeup.

"I haven't seen you this excited for a long time, miss." the young servant watched her mistress with joy.

"Oh, Amelia, you don't even know!" the other girl shouted and sighed. "How do I look?" she turned in her chair and stood up.

"Perfect as always, miss." the servant smiled.

Elaine smiled back and grabbed her purse and gloves and went to meet with her family on the boat deck.

* * *

When Elaine reached the boat deck it was only her mother waiting there. She started suspiciously walking towards her.

"Mother? Where is everyone?" she frowned in wonder.

"Oh, your father and Philip went back to business. Between you and me, I think he's going to convince Caison to invest in us. You might as well help." Elizabeth eyed her daughter and Elaine knew exactly what her mother meant. "Estella and Edward should be arriving shortly." she added as if nothing was mentioned before.

Elaine pressed her lips in a thin line and didn't say anything. As in that moment, William arrived with his mother Charlotte in arm. Charlotte and Elizabeth greeted each other as if they didn't see each other at lunch an hour ago which made Elaine to turn the other way and roll her eyes.

Charlotte wasn’t a bad woman. She was very much loving, kind and polite. Trying to stay open-minded, she wasn’t judgmental and hated getting in conflicts. William very much resembled her. He got her blonde curly hair and height, though both of his parents were tall. Only difference between them were her bright blue eyes. Maybe that’s why she liked to spoil him so much, other than he was the only child they had. He was considered momma’s boy and Elaine hated that kind of men.

"Oh, I was going to apologize for Brandon being absent, but seeing that Kenneth's not here either I might get the idea why." she giggled.

"Sorry we're late! Edward took forever to get ready." Estella came running down.

"Nonsense, dear." Edward touched her nose and she wrinkled it, giggling.

"Shall we go? If we're all here," Charlotte wondered.

"I think we should wait for Mr. Andrews to come pick us up—Oh, here he comes." Elizabeth pointed out.

"Shall I walk with you?" William offered his arm to Elaine.

"I don't want your mother to be mad at me." she tried politely to decline.

"Don't be silly, dear," Charlotte cut in. "I'll walk with Elizabeth, no problem."

Elaine smiled nervously and nodded, linking her arm with William's. So far, the tour for Elaine was boring. William wasn't of any help by trying to make a joke or play smart. It only made her roll her eyes. It was so until they reached the bridge and Elaine was looking for a familiar face. And it wasn't so until she saw one. Captain Smith's.

"Ah, Badour's. And Caison's. Lovely seeing you again. I hope everything's alright?" he kindly greeted them all.

"Of course, thank you. Mr. Andrews here is giving us a tour of the ship. This is our next stop." Elizabeth was having the main word.

"Sir!" an officer, who Elaine saw speak with Harold last night, walked to the Captain holding a piece of paper in his hand.

"Ah, good, good. Feel free to ask any quest—"

"Sir!"

"What is it now, Mr. Moody?" Captain turned his head to look at him, annoyed that he interrupted him again.

"Another ice warning, sir!" he handed him the paper.

Captain Smith took the paper from him and studied it for a while. He looked at the group before him trying to act normal as possible.

"Oh, nothing to worry about. Pretty normal for this time of year," he said, seeing everyone’s expectant look on their faces. "In fact, we're speeding up. Mr. Moody, you're on rounds now, right?"

"That is correct, sir!"

"And Mr. Lowe?" Elaine could feel her heart skip a beat on mentioning of Harold's name.

"He was just released off his rounds, sir."

"Is he still on the bridge?"

"He should be, he never goes straight to his quarters. Do you want me to go look for him?"

"Yes, do so." Captain waved off, nodding his head.

They lingered around for a while because Elizabeth was asking some ridiculous, to Elaine, questions when Harold appeared.

"You wanted to see me, Capitan?" he was all formal, standing tall and putting his arms behind his back.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Lowe. I know you're off your duty for now, but I have a little favor to ask."

"Go ahead, sir." he acknowledgedly nodded.

"Please, help Mr. Andrews here lead the tour. And it could be a great practice for you as an officer. Don't worry, you can take an extra hour later to rest if you need to." Captain Smith patted his back and went on with his duties.

Harold's face went blank and white when his eyes met with Elaine's. To make it even worse, she was standing with William, arm in arm.

"Wh-Where is the next stop, Mr. Andrews?" he tried not to look at her anymore.

"The gymnasium. Lead the way, Mr. Lowe." Mr. Andrews replied.

"Right," Harold said under his breath. "Right, ladies and _gentlemen_ ," he piercingly looked at Willian and Elaine tried to sustain a giggle. "Right this way!" he quickly turned around and led the way while closing his eyes and cursing himself.

Elaine let go of William's arm and hurried to be closer to Harold although he didn't seem to notice, but who did seem to notice was her mother. She was watching them like a hawk.

* * *

The Gymnasium was just aft of the forward Grand Staircase along the Starboard side of the Boat Deck. It was a wonderful innovation for an ocean-going liner. When they entered, it was brightly lit room with white-painted oak paneling and tile floors. Along the wall opposite of the entrance was a carved oak installation with an illustrated cutaway of an Olympic-class ocean liner and a map depicting the travel routes of the _White Star Line_ throughout the world. The room was equipped with state-of-the-art exercise equipment manufactured in Wiesbaden, including two electric camels, an electric horse, a rowing machine, a punching bag, a weightlifting machine and mechanical bicycles.

All of the ladies were interested in the equipment and what Thomas Andrews was saying with Harold adding something now and then. What interested them the most was when he said they were free to try any of the equipment and Elaine, of course, got right on to it.

"Mind giving me a hand, officer?" of course she was just seeking an opportunity to steal some time with Harold.

"I got you, El." William interjected, helping her get on the bike.

"Looks like you've got everything covered." Harold said stepping back.

Elaine wanted to scream. Suddenly, she didn't feel so interested in trying it out anymore. William wandered off listening to something else Mr. Andrews was talking about. She 'exercised' for a couple of seconds when her gaze met Harold's. He quickly looked away as if nothing happened which made her even more mad.

"Alright, next stop, the engine room!" Mr. Andrews announced and they all left the room leaving Elaine and Harold alone.

"I think that's enough exercising for you today, miss." he said in a serious tone.

Elaine raised an eyebrow at him.

"Although, looks like you'll have to spend the rest of the day here since your little gentleman forgot about leaving you up there."

"Don't you mind helping me?" Elaine finally spoke up, sounding offended.

"Certainly not." he replied, offering her his hand.

"Always happy to help a lady in trouble, you said so yourself." she smirked.

"Yes, _a lady,_ " he pulled her down a little harder than they both expected.

Elaine could feel his heavy breathing and heart beating and his breath on her face. They looked intensely into each other’s eyes.

"What do you mean by that?" she finally said after coming to her senses and breaking the silence. "Why are you being so rude?!" she asked again when he didn't say anything.

"We should get going. We're falling behind." he said, letting go of her and stepping away, heading for the door. He opened them and waited for her. "After you, miss."

She pursed her lips, hesitating for a while, before hurrying past him. She rushed out going down the boat deck, Harold hurrying behind her.

"At least you're going the right way." he commented.

"I would've managed!" she shot back.

He smirked, but didn't say anything.

* * *

The Engine Room was located between the Turbine Room and Boiler Room 1. It contained the two reciprocating engines, the feedwater heaters, the ship’s refrigeration plant and other auxiliary equipment.

They finally rejoined the group. Elizabeth eyed them both suspiciously when they entered, and Estella wiggled her eyebrows at Elaine which made her to roll her eyes annoyingly.

"Ah, maybe Mr. Lowe can tell us something more." Mr. Andrews exclaimed when he spotted Harold.

"I'll try. What's this about?"

Elaine didn't want to listen about the stupid engines. She wanted to leave. For the rest of the tour, she and Harold didn't speak. In fact, they were trying to avoid each other. Back on the boat deck they we're all saying their goodbyes as if they're not going to see each other at dinner.

"Mr. Lowe, you were of a great help today," Elizabeth said and Elaine looked at her in _as if she knows_ look. "Why don't you join us for dinner tonight? As a thank you," this one Elaine did not see coming.

She looked at her mother with her mouth wide open. Elizabeth surely did notice her daughter's reaction, but did not let herself get shaken by it and continued to keep staring at Harold with a small wicked smile on her face, waiting for his answer.

The question itself caught him off guard as well. He was never invited to a dinner before, let alone to the first-class dinner.

"That's very generous of you. Yes, I'd be delighted." he accepted.

"Then it's settled!" Elizabeth looked at no one in particular with amusement. "We'll see you then, Mr. Lowe."

Harold touched his hat before they all left to get prepared for the dinner of a life time.


	6. CHAPTER SIX

Elaine got back to her room furious. She slammed the door shut and leaned against them, trying to catch her breath.

"Miss, are you alright?" coming out from another room, Amelia welcomed her.

"My mother…" she put a hand on her chest, breathing heavily. "She's playing games."

"Miss, please sit down. I'll help you." Amelia led her to the bed and sat her down. "Please, drink some water." she poured her a glass.

"Thank you." Elaine greedily drank it. "We'll just have to beat her to it." she was staring blank ahead.

"We?" the young servant furrowed her eyebrows.

"Yes, Amelia, we. Didn't you listen to anything I was just saying?!" she suddenly rose up into Amelia's face and the poor girl winced back.

"I'm sorry, miss, I don't under—"

"My mother invited Harold to dinner," she began explaining while pacing around the room.

"And that's a bad thing?" the servant asked, uncertain.

"It's a terrible thing!" Elaine turned to face her. "You know, he was all sweet when I first met him, but oh my, are looks deceiving! He's rude and arrogant and…" she couldn't think of any more words to describe him.

"And you like him." Amelia said proudly and fixed her posture.

"I beg your pardon?" Elaine looked at her in shock. "Amelia, we are not friends for you to make such assumption." she warned. "You are my servant. You better obey like it. Now give me my best night gown. Don't just stand there like a statue, quickly!"

Amelia just nodded and rushed to the closet.

* * *

Elaine was standing near the dining area where people were dancing. She watched them trying not to lean on the wooden pillar beside her (because that's not lady like!). When she and Amelia finished putting her in the silk gown with golden details and doing her hair up, she left as quickly as possible not to meet her brother or, God forbid, William, who would've tried to escort her to dinner. She felt tired and bored, waiting for a familiar face to show up, that she touched the pillar with her shoulder when someone tapped her on the other. She winced and quickly turned around.

"Edward?!" she breathed. "You scared me."

"Oh, sorry about that." he apologized. "Have you seen your sister?"

"No, shouldn't she be with you?" she frowned in wonder.

"Yeah, well, she isn't. Never mind, we probably missed each other. I'll go look for her." he faked a smile as to reassure her that everything was alright.

Elaine looked after him now completely leaning on the pillar, but didn't care. It wasn't like Estella to wander off like that. At least, not without saying anything to anyone.

* * *

"James, open up, please!" Harold was banging on the officer Moody's door.

"What is it now, Harold?" James opened the door, standing there annoyed.

"I've got a favor to ask." he made a pleading face.

"I see. You're already in your formal uniform." James leaned on the door frame and crossed his arms, looking at him up and down. "No. Absolutely not." he said once he looked him in the eyes again.

"Oh, c'mon, you don't even know what it is!" Harold pressed.

"It can only be one thing with you." the other boy shrugged.

"James, Badour's invited me to dinner tonight. I cannot miss it." Harold hissed, trying to make situation even more serious than it actually was.

"I already worked half of your rounds, Harold!" James protested.

"Bollocks! I came back just in time."

"I'm not doing it!"

"Listen, if I go to the Captain, we won't be able to have this little arrangement between you and me." he tried to threaten him.

"You do that. I think Captain is also going to that dinner, you can be his date!" James was fooling around.

"James! I'll owe you one. Please." the other one begged.

"You should stay away from her." James said at last.

Harold rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, I ruined it."

"And that's why you want to go _so badly_ , isn't it?" James said, emphasizing the last part.

"Well, her mother invited me…" Harold made a face like he was calculating.

"Yes, to mock you." James joked.

"Screw you, James." Harold kicked his hat. "Will you do it, now, please?"

"No."

Harold made a long face. "Alright, cool." he turned to leave, but James stopped him.

"Wait, alright, I'll do it." the young boy cursed himself. “But only because I don’t want to look at your sorry face for the rest of the journey.”

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Harold jumped on him to hug him.

"Alright, that's enough." he tried to push the other one off. "Don't thank me just yet."

"Watch for Lightoller, he's always hot on my tail." Harold rolled his eyes.

"I've noticed. Good thing she doesn't have a valet to follow her around, eh?" James looked at him in the mirror while buttoning his uniform.

"Oh, I think she's already got two."

"Oh, yes, I see her with her brother often. He doesn't let her out of his sight." James talked while fixing his uniform.

"Brother?" Harold furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Yeah, the tall one, dirty blonde hair. You've probably seen him a lot."

"Yeah, I saw him." Harold’s lips twitched in a smile once he came to the realization.

"And that curly blondie she's been walking around with I don't know." they left James's quarters and were headed for the bridge.

"That's William Caison." Harold said, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "Spoiled little rich brat."

"Oh, you two know each other?" James wondered, raising his eyebrows.

"We’ve got some history together; you can say that." Harold answered.

They reached the bridge just when the Captain stepped in.

"Good evening, gentlemen. Mr. Lowe, ready for that dinner?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, Captain." Harold smiled.

* * *

Elaine didn't notice when Harold walked in, but he immediately recognized her even though he was facing her back. He walked from behind her and spun her around.

"Shall we dance?" he smirked.

"Oh, so he speaks." Elaine was startled, but didn't let it show so she returned the smirk.

Harold didn't say anything just kept moving them around while staring into her eyes, small smile dancing on his lips.

"You know, it's pretty obvious that you've got a crush." she said.

"Maybe I'm not trying to hide it." he replied.

She looked away just in time to see her whole family coming down the stairs. First one in line were her parents. While Kenneth was distracted by conversing with John Jacob Astor, Elizabeth took the opportunity to scan the room. Her gaze finally landed on her daughter. Her brother soon followed by looking at her judgingly.

"We should go." she motioned with her head and stepped away.

Harold looked at the direction she was pointing at and realized.

"I see." he nodded. "Please, allow me." he offered her his arm.

Elaine hesitated for a moment but linked her arm with his.

"I guess there's no harm in that." she held her head up high like nothing was happening.

As on cue, her family started moving as well. Elaine suggested that they slow down, allowing the rest of them to get seated first. When they arrived, everyone acted surprised when they saw the two of them approaching. Elaine scanned the area and saw that the chair beside Edward was empty. She pressed her lips and met Edward's gaze, learning that he hadn't found her yet. Everyone was just staring expectantly at them, waiting for her next move. She cleared her throat when she became aware of her surroundings again.

"Allow me to introduce you to Mr. Harold Lowe." she finally said, breaking the silence.

Harold, not used to being in the spotlight, felt slightly uncomfortable. He didn't know what or should he say something so he remained silent, but nodded his head at them.

"Mr. Lowe!" Kenneth was first to speak "Pleasure to meet you. Please, take a seat." he extended his arm, pointing at one of the empty chairs.

"Pleasure's all mine." he said once he was seated. "Thanks to Mrs. Badour for the invite." he smiled at her.

"Oh, don't mention it!" she waved it off and laughed. “It’s the least I could do after all you’ve done for us today.”

"Mr. Lowe was of a great help today. He gave us a tour of the ship." Elaine wanted to represent Harold in the best light possible.

"Oh, please, I think Mr. Andrews should take all the credit. I also learned some new things." they all laughed.

There was a commotion down the dining room and everyone turned their heads to follow it up.

"Excuse me! Coming through! Sorry!"

It was Estella, running down the aisle. Her mother watched in disbelief and Elaine sipped on her champagne beside her. She thought that everyone probably thought how it wasn't her instead. Not that she would actually run.

"I am so sorry! I hope it hadn't been too long!" Estella said once he got to her chair. "I am so sorry, baby." she whispered to Edward and kissed his cheek.

"Well, I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation for this." Elizabeth grinned at her.

Elaine nearly choked. She never saw Elizabeth strict with Estella. And especially not with kill them with kindness game.

Estella, being put in the spotlight, stood there frozen. "I, uhm… Oh, they're bringing out meals! Just in time!" she was quick to avoid the explaining and sat down.

Elizabeth was burning holes through her first daughter with her eyes. Estella never disobeyed before. She gave her a _this isn't over_ look and the other one knew that very well. As on cue, Estella looked at her sister who was sipping on the champagne again to sustain a laugh. Elaine raised her eyebrows as if she wanted to say _let's see how'd you get out of this_. An uncomfortable silence fell among them.

"I'm sorry to ask," Brandon was the first one to break it looking at Harold "but are you of the Barmouth Lowes?"

Harold shot his head up as if he was not sure he was talking to him. "Yes, actually." he swallowed.

Brandon smirked. It was an evil smirk, Elaine noticed.

"Really? Then what are you doing here, being an officer on the ship when your father owns the largest business in Liverpool?" Brandon openly asked.

Elaine narrowed her eyes at him. He didn’t change one bit. She remembers him as being arrogant and indiscreet. He wasn’t a loving father and he probably had William just so he would have someone to leave his business to. He raised him to be just like him, Elaine could see that now. Thank God he had Charlotte to balance it out even a bit.

"I wanted nothing to do with it." he shrugged. "I always wanted to be at sea, so here I am."

"Didn't your father want you to inherit his business?" Kenneth jumped in, innocently wondering.

"He certainly did." Harold confessed. "But I always wondered, why me? I surely wasn't his only son."

"Maybe he trusted you the most." Elizabeth offered reasonable explanation, smiling.

"I don't know, he knew that I didn't want to do anything with it."

"We've crossed paths before. How is he now? He may have changed his mind, eh?" Brandon asked.

"I wouldn't know. My father and I are no longer speaking." he declared.

"Oh, poor dear." Charlotte whispered.

"How come?" asked Philip.

"After I rejected him _again,_ he decided he doesn't want to do anything with me anymore. Practically, I'm no longer his son."

"Oh, my God, that's terrible!" Elaine shouted. "I couldn't believe your dad would disown you over something so stupid!"

"It's not stupid." William interjected.

"Excuse me?!" she spat.

"Well, he practically dishonored his father. Which is a shame, I'm sure we would be partners now."

"You know we wouldn't, William." Harold coldly replied.

"What was dishonoring there?" Elaine went on as if she didn't hear anything else. "That he chose his dream job over his father's company? As he said, he wasn't the only son and it certainly wasn't his duty to do so. Not that it was any of your brothers also." she looked at Harold as to not get her wrong. "What would you do, father? Would you disown Philip if he decided not to take over the company?" she challenged.

"Elaine!" her mother hissed, hitting her slightly under the table.

"What would you do, father?" she was persistent.

"I, uh… Well, luckily, that isn't the case here, but I, uh…" he was sweating cold.

"You're taking too long to answer. I can't believe you." she made a disgusted face. "And you Mr. Caison,” she turned her head at him. “would you disown William? Him being the only child it's a lot to lose on both parts." she lifted an eyebrow.

"I would be too ashamed to do that." William said before his father could give an answer.

"No." Elaine frowned in disgust. "That is weakness. You would be too weak to do that because you are a weak man, William Caison!" everyone was staring at her as she shouted. "And what Mr. Lowe here did was bravery. Bravo, Mr. Lowe, I congratulate you! And in the name of that I raise a toast in your name. For following your dreams!" she raised a glass and dared all of them to join her.

First one to raise her glass was Estella. Then Philip, Edward, Elizabeth and so on. The last one to join was William. Harold and Elaine smiled at each other and drank.

"I kept in touch with my mom and siblings, though." Harold added at last.

"Oh, that is lovely." Estella sympathetically said and Harold lightly shrugged as _it is what it is,_ but gave her a smile as to let her know he appreciated it.

"Well, would you look at the time!" Mr. Ismay exclaimed looking at his watch. "Gentlemen, if you all agree we shall move to the smoking room and leave ladies to chit chat." he grinned at them with, what Elaine thought was the creepiest smile she ever saw.

They slowly started leaving one by one and in that crowd, Harold approached Elaine.

"Are you going to join them?" she joked.

"Well, I would if I didn't have an actual job to do." he returned the smile.

"Like them, you can say it." she added, feeling his sentence was kind of unfinished.

"I didn't want to be rude. It's your father and brother among those people, I don’t want to offend you after what you did."

"No worries." she sympathetically brushed it off. "And if it wasn't you, it would be someone else. They always find someone to pick on. Not that I could say I would do the same." they laughed.

"Mr. Lowe! The rounds won't do themselves!" Captain shouted before heading off.

"Duty calls. Thank you for tonight. I hope to see you again soon." he kissed her hand and followed the Captain.

She turned to the table again, being left with her mother, sister, brother-in-law, Charlotte and some other ladies.

"Well, we shall leave you, we have something to discuss." Edward said, standing up. "C'mon, dear." Elaine saw on her sister's face that she wasn't happy about it and felt sorry for her. "Well, goodnight, ladies!" he said before they headed off as well.

Elaine was thinking about calling it a night too, not being able to be in the presence of Mrs. Caison after calling her son a weak man. Thinking of that she realized that she was crumpling something in her palm. It was a piece of paper. She looked at her mother and Charlotte to see if any of them noticed and when they didn't, turned to read it.

_I had a really great time tonight and I would like to see you later tonight if at all possible. Meet me at the bow. -H_


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

Edward closed the door after Estella. He moved slowly around the room, taking off his suit jacket. Estella sat herself at the nearby table peeling off her gloves when their maid came into the room.

“You’re back early.” she welcomed them.

Standing in the middle of the room, Edward turned. “What’s that supposed to mean? Should I not be here? In _my_ room?” he turned to look at Estella. “Were you expecting someone else?” he narrowed his eyes at her.

“No, sir, I—” the young maid regretted saying anything at all.

“Leave us, Betty.” Estella said looking at the table, scared to lift her eyes at any of them.

Without another word, Betty went out of the room as fast as she could.

Edward took a seat across Estella and lit a cigarette.

“Now,” he said in between blows “you know I’m going to ask you. And you know _what_ I’m going to ask you.”

“You know I don’t like you smoking around me.” she looked away, refusing to meet his gaze.

“And I don’t like when you embarrass me!” he yelled and she winced.

He inhaled the smoke and let it out, calming himself. “I don’t want to yell or fight with you, Stella. If you didn’t do anything wrong then you’ll have no problem telling me the truth.”

Despite his very nice and calm personality, Edward knew to be harsh and stern when he needed to be.

She swallowed. “I can’t tell you.” she finally looked at him, her eyes all red from holding back tears.

“Why?” he leaned forward, as if he was challenging her.

“Because,” she took a deep breath “it would ruin a surprise.”

“A surprise?” he raised his eyebrows. “What the hell are you talking about?” a small smirk formed in the corner of his lips.

“For your birthday, sweetie!” she made a nervous smile; afraid he would not believe her.

“You’re making _me_ a surprise?” he laughed.

Estella didn’t know whether to start laughing with him or not.

“Yes, sweetie, didn’t I always?” she rose up and walked over to him.

“Yeah, I guess you did.” he had to admit.

She smiled satisfactorily and hugged him from behind, her blonde hair falling at her side. She felt he was still a bit of a tense.

“Is something wrong?” she questioned, backing away to look at him.

He sighed. “I just thought it was something else. I mean, the way you put up a show…”

“Well, I had to, didn’t I? Otherwise, you’d be onto me.” she leaned forward to face him.

“Yeah, I guess.”

Estella kissed his cheek. “Let’s get to bed.”

She felt like the weight on her shoulders was lifted up, and Edward felt there was more to the story, but decided to let it go for tonight. He’ll get to the bottom of this first thing in the morning.

* * *

“Hey, you’re back on time.” James said when he spotted Harold walking up to him.

“No, I’m not.” replied the other boy.

James wanted to say something, but Harold stopped him before he could say anything. “I came to tell that I have an extra hour. Captain’s orders.”

“What the hell?!” James spat.

“I don’t have time for this, she’ll be here any second.” Harold patted James on the shoulder, but before he could leave the other boy grabbed him.

“You invited her here?!” he hissed.

They both turned to see Mr. Murdoch looking at their commotion and James let go of Harold’s hand.

“Good evening, Mr. Murdoch. How are you?” Harold flashed him his most charming smile.

“Ah, so-so.” Mr. Murdoch answered, holding his cup of tea.

“Very well.” Harold answered waiting for Mr. Murdoch to go back minding his own business.

Once he did, he turned again to James. “Of course not, stupid. But tell me, did Lightoller caused you any trouble?”

“No. He did walk around, but he knows your rounds start at ten.”

“Dammit.” Harold whispered looking at his watch. “It’s quarter to ten.”

“Then you better start moving, boy.” James wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shut up.” he playfully hit the other boy before leaving.

He went flying down the stairs to beat her from waiting for him. He then realized how stupid it was from him to ask her to meet here since they could easily be seen from the bridge. He came down just in time to see Elaine coming out from under the bridge and quickly motioned to her to stay put. She stopped walking and gave him a weird look. He looked up and around to see if anyone saw him and if it was safe to approach her.

“What was that?” she laughed, intrigued.

“Measures of precaution.” he answered, not looking at her, but ahead of them.

Elaine waited if he’d say anything else, but he didn’t. He just took her by the hand and said “Come.”

They started walking slowly at first, but Harold started picking up pace when they were almost running down the deck. In their advantage there wasn’t many people out, almost not any.

Elaine loved it. She laughed, but hardly could keep up anymore. “Slow down, please.”

He stopped at the corner where the stairs were. Elaine leaned against the wall to catch her breath. Looking at her like that he could do the same. She had a pure smile on her face and didn’t even care that her dark brown hair was all messed up. He thought she was gorgeous like that. He fancied her even more now that he knew he could go rebel with her.

“What?” she asked looking at him, her hand on her chest.

“Nothing.” he shook her head.

“So,” she moved towards him. “Where are we going, Mr. Lowe?” she asked in her most seductive tone that sent shivers down his spine.

“I want to show you something.”

“That wasn’t on the tour list?” she raised her eyebrows.

He shook his head. “You tell me.”

She smirked. “Lead the way, then.”

He got a hold of her hand once again. “Here, down the stairs. I’ll go first, follow me.”

They walked down into the dim light, Elaine looking around not recognizing the place.

“I don’t think we—” suddenly she slipped on her dress, but Harold was quick to turn and catch her. “Oops.” she voiced.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his breathing quick.

“Thanks to you, Mr. Lowe, I’m always perfectly fine.” she declared.

“Harold.” he breathed. “Call me Harold.”

“Alright, then. Harold.” she smiled and he let go of her.

“Come, down this hallway.” he motioned with his head.

“It’s good to have you around, Mr. Lowe—I mean, Harold.” she corrected.

“And why is that?” he stopped in front of a door.

“Well, you’re always quick to run and help a lady in trouble. Do you help a lot of ladies like me?” she wondered.

“Other ladies like you don’t tend to get in trouble as much as you do.” he answered and opened the door. “After you.” he cheekily smiled at her.

Elaine passed him wondering if it was a good or a bad thing what he just said. She suddenly froze in the doorway as if she remembered something and turned to face him.

“ _Ladies_ ,” the world rolled out of her tongue. “You said earlier today you were always happy to help _a lady_ in trouble, were you implying that I am not a lady?” she questioned.

“No—”

“Do you think I’m a prostitute? Is that why you brought me down here?”

“No!”

“A hooker?”

“Miss Badour—”

“Are you trying to rape me?”

“For Christ’s sake, no! I was just, well, I saw you with these two men and I didn’t want to be fooled around by you so I just—”

“Was rude?”

“Yes! No, I mean, well, I later found out that one of them is your brother, supposedly everyone knew that except me, and the other one is William Caison.” he was nervous, Elaine could tell.

Elaine started laughing. Harold just stood there, uncomfortable, watching her. Once she composed herself, she wiped the tears from her eyes murmuring _oh goodness_ and turned around.

They entered the room where the swimming pool was. It left Elaine completely breathless. It was completely empty with the dim light from the wall lamps filling the room, but the most of the light was coming from the moonlight which reflected on the shimmering water.

“Harold, this is beautiful.” she exclaimed, completely forgetting about their previous conversation.

“So, you hadn’t been here before,” Harold himself wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement he was making.

“No, not yet at least. I heard about the swimming pool, but no.” she was looking amazingly around the room.

“Well then, care to go for a swim?” he motioned with his arm.

“Now? I possibly couldn’t.” she protested.

“Oh, come on! I bring you all the way here and you won’t even dip your fingers. But you are more than welcome to watch, if you’d prefer.” he said as he was rolling his pants up and kicking of his shoes and socks.

He walked over to the rim of the pool and sat down. “Ahh. Are you sure you don’t want to join me?” he looked at her over his shoulder.

She stood behind just looking at him. She felt challenged. It was the first time that some dared her to something. She lifted her dress and kicked of her shoes. Harold noticing the movement, turned his head with to give her privacy, if needed, with a satisfied smirk. Minute later she sat beside him, her bare feet in the water.

“You made a good call.” he leaned back.

“No, I did the good deed. You were lonely.” she looked at him.

“That too. I agree.” he straightened himself a little bit.

“More than once tonight!” she rose her index finger up.

He laughed. “Yeah.”

“By the way, what’s with you and the Caisons?” she furrowed her eyebrows.

“Oh, that! Well, we were kind of at war. Did you see how they pretended to not know who I am?”

Elaine laughed. “Yeah! What’s that about?”

“My dad screwed them over.” he started. “When I went home for the holidays father would’ve let me stay only if I worked with him. He thought I would change my mind and decide to take over and stay with them forever. And to be fair, I thought so too. I couldn’t really judge something I hadn’t tried before. So, yeah, I got in just when he was negotiating business with Caisons. I was amazed how little William spoke, but he probably trained his whole life for that moment.” he rolled his eyes.

“I was just sitting there, listening. Listening to the fairytales basically. They were talking like they could do this and that if we only paired up, but honestly, their only intention was to screw my dad over and drain all of his money. And what I failed to say is, they were competitors.” he remembered. “And not one competitor has true intentions.”

“What happened then?”

“After the meeting I told father about my concerns and what we should do. I said we should accept the partnership, but do this: we let them think that we are going to invest in them, which we are in the beginning, and let them do their projects that they oh so praised about, but we raise the stakes. Or in this case, we lower them. So, we start with the higher investment than they expected and as their business grows, we lower it with the excuse ‘well you got your business running just fine, I don’t know where the money from that goes to’. Eventually, they hit a rock bottom and my dad walked away richer than ever with his investors. Later he found out Caisons had no project at all they could benefit from.”

“Wow.” Elaine said in the end.

“Well, they would have done it to my dad instead.” he shrugged. “They were on the shaky ground anyway.”

“But they somehow managed to get back in the game.” Elaine shook her head.

“They have their manipulative ways. It just depends who bites the bait.”

“But you walked away, anyway?” she said looking at him.

“Well, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you.”

“Or maybe you would, but only you’d be a handsome businessman who sneaks into the pool with a first-class lady in the middle of the night.” she suggested.

“Oh, if you’re a first-class lady, where does that put me? Second class?” he raised his eyebrows at her. “No? Third?” she giggled. “Like, I’m bloody rich, but oh I’m so modest you’ll give me a third-class ticket, thank you very much!”

Elaine could barely get any air from laughing. “Stop it!”

“And by the way, you think I’m handsome?” he looked at her.

She immediately stopped laughing. As if she forgot to speak, she remained silent. She felt her cheeks burn and bowed her head.

“Why, I think you’re pretty attractive, too.” he added and cleared his throat.

Elaine turned her head away from him, her face obviously red now. Once the tingly feeling has stopped, she turned again to look at him.

“Why?” she quietly asked. He gave her a puzzled look. “Why did you leave again?”

“I couldn’t live in that lie. That life is full of lies and schemes. Just looking how to screw over one another. It wasn’t fulfilling.” he finished.

“Trust me, I know.” Elaine breathed looking ahead.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way than this.” he looked at her.

“Me neither.” she looked back.

They stared at each other for a couple of moments until Elaine shivered.

“Are you cold?” Harold frowned. “Should we get out? Yeah, we should get ou—”

Elaine grabbed him to stop him from standing up saying “It’s not from the cold!”

Once he was sitting still beside her again, she repeated quietly “It’s not from the cold.”

“Then what it is?” he furrowed his brows.

She just kept staring at him, smile dancing in the corner of her lips. He was still looking puzzled at her then he came to realization making an _ahh_ face and smirking at her. Elaine batted her eyelashes at him and he moved closer. Slowly at first, to see her reaction. When there was no negative response from her, he moved a bit closer again until there was no space between them. Their noses were touching for a couple of moments. He brushed his lips against hers, to test her waters, until he finally leaned in and kissed her.

If it was for Elaine, she would have kissed him the first day when he saved her hat. As of thank you, of course. But the wait is what made that kiss even more special. It was sweet kiss at first. He pecked her lips before fully grasping her bottom lip into his mouth. Her heart was pounding in her chest and if she wasn’t sitting down, she would have probably fell down how weak in the knees she felt. She could only focus on how soft he felt against her mouth and how gently he was doing it.

The kiss started getting deeper and deeper with each passing second. He licked her bottom lip, asking permission that she gladly granted. He slid an arm around her waist, pulling her even closer and biting her lip. She moaned against him, driving him crazy. He wanted more. When thing started to really heat up, Harold pulled away while he could still contain himself.

“D-Do you want to go somewhere else?” he asked, breathless.

She just nodded her head, unable to say anything. They grabbed their stuff and went out hand in hand.


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

James Moody finished his rounds around the ship and just got back to the wheelhouse. There were Mr. Hichens and Mr. Murdoch to accompany him.

“Ah, Mr. Moody,” William Murdoch said once he spotted him “I just made tea. Would you like a cup?”

“Yes, thank you.” the young boy answered, rubbing his hands from the cold.

William disappeared for a second and appeared the next, holding two cups of tea.

“Here you go, kid.” he said handing him one.

“Thank you very much.” James replied, taking a sip.

They both were looking ahead of themselves, staring at the ocean when Lightoller came from behind.

“You may take your leave to drink your tea, Mr. Murdoch. I’ll take it from here.” he said, all formal.

“Very well, Mr. Lightoller.” William didn’t hesitate to step back and allow Charles to stand in his place.

Once William had left, Charles said still looking ahead “I believe Mr. Lowe’s rounds start at ten.”

“That is correct,” James confirmed, swallowing. “but he has an extra hour because of today.”

“Ah, yes. His little excursion. And dinner? Can you believe it?”

“It’s none of my business, sir.” James sipped on his tea. “I simply follow Captain’s orders.”

“I see,” Charles said, unpleased. “Well, then, we have half an hour to spare.”

And of that, James was afraid. He prayed that Harold shows up before he makes some nonsense.

* * *

“Ta-da!” Harold said once he opened the door of his room “this is my secret chambers.”

Elaine smiled and walked in, Harold right behind her, quietly closing the door. She looked around the tiny room. There was a mahogany bed, spread the entire length of the wall, and a tiny window hanging above it. Beside the bed was a desk with drawers and beside it was a dresser with a full-length mirror. Across from the dresser was a small sink with a small mirror hanging above. Seeing the look on her face, Harold instantly regretted bringing her here.

“I’m sorry, it was a stupid idea bringing you here. I should’ve taken you somewhere far more lux—” she shushed him by placing her tiny finger on his lips.

“So, is this where the magic happens?” she raised an eyebrow, asking daringly.

He smiled against her finger. He took her hand and interlocked their fingers.

Leaning against her forehead he said, “It can happen whatever you want to happen.”

Elaine bit her lip. “Is that so?” she asked, her breath steady.

Their hands started moving against each other. Instead of answering her, Harold nodded his head before pressing his lips against hers. Elaine took a sharp breath in. She could smell all of him; his tiny bit of cologne, the soap, his natural smell, all of it. It wasn’t long before the kiss turned into a very passionate one. Elaine took off his hat and tossed it behind.

“Oops.” she voiced in between kisses, running her fingers through his hair.

“Good thing it’s not windy here.” they both chuckled into the kiss.

He took off her coat and helped her unbutton his. He quickly kissed her again before picking her up and making his way over to the bed. He placed her down and took a moment to admire her. She didn’t even have to take her clothes off to leave him breathless. They didn’t need words, they perfectly understood one another just from looking into each other’s eyes.

One by one, pieces of clothes were removed. Harold let her hair down before rushing to her lips again. When she reached to take off his shirt something inside of him clicked and he pulled away.

“Elaine, stop. We don’t have to do this.” he said, holding his hand up to keep her away from him.

“What? Did I do something? Am I not…good enough? Bad even?” she asked, obviously concerned.

“No! It’s not like that. You’re perfect and, oh my God, you’re stunning.” he said caressing her cheek, she leaning into his touch. “I just don’t want to do this because you think we have to.”

“What?! I didn’t go all the way here for you to preach like this. Did you really think you could bring me here against my own will, let alone keep me?” she said in disbelieve.

He smiled at himself. “Of course not, you’re a feisty one.”

“Harold,” she took him by the hand. “I want this. With you.” she looked pleadingly into his eyes.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been surer in my life. Now shut up and kiss me.” they both laughed before Harold leaned into her again.

* * *

“What time is it, Mr. Moody?” Charles Lightoller enrolled in the wheelhouse again.

“Eleven ten, sir.” James replied.

“Do you know what that means?” Lightoller raised his eyebrows at him.

“You’re checking do I know how to read time?”

“Ha, very funny. If you keep this humor up the only thing laughing back at you will be a suspension. Now, where is Mr. Lowe? He is _late_.” the last world enrolled off his tongue.

“I’m sure he’s asleep, he’ll be here soon.” James composed himself, looking sternly ahead.

“Then I better go wake him up.”

“Please, allow me.” James moved to stop him, but Lightoller stepped back eyeing him suspiciously.

“Mr. Moody, if you are his next victim for helping him hide his schemes, you’ll be in big trouble.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” the young boy said, giving up.

“Very good. Then you won’t mind _me_ waking him up.” Charles patted him on the shoulder.

“No, sir.” James closed his eyes and cursed himself under his breath.

* * *

Elaine was lying on top of Harold’s bare chest drawing circles with her finger while he was playing with her hair.

“Tell me something about yourself.” she looked at him curiously, sucking her lips in her mouth afraid he may not answer her.

“What do you want to know?” he asked, putting away a strand of her hair that fell on her face when she turned her head away from him.

“Everything.” she looked at her finger, slightly smiling. “Tell me your life story.”

He smiled. “Well, you already know the half of it. But okay.” he took a deep breath. “I ran away from home when I was fourteen.”

“You did what?!” she rose up.

He laughed bringing her down into his embrace again. “It was the only way to start doing what I've always loved. Sailing. I wanted to be at sea. To be in the open, to be free. That’s what power is. Not controlling other people like my father.”

“You speak so passionately about it.” Elaine said quietly.

“I am.” he chuckled. “It is my home honestly. My heart is fulfilled right now.”

“Don’t you miss your real home?” she wondered.

“I wouldn’t run away from my home if it was a home.” he breathed.

For a couple of moments, the only thing you could hear was their breathing.

“That’s why I didn’t speak with my father.”

“But what about your other family?” Elaine frowned.

Even though she sometimes couldn’t stand her own family, running away was never considered.

“I miss my mom and siblings, of course. We send letters back and forth. Do you want me to read you the latest one I got from my mom?”

“Yeah, if it’s not too personal. I’d like to know what she’s like.” she smiled as he got up and pulled one of the drawers out.

While he was searching through a pile of papers someone knocked on the door. They both looked alarmed at each other.

“Mr. Lowe! Open the door!” it was Charles Lighttoler.

“Oh, shit.” he whispered.

“What now?!” Elaine panicked.

“I don’t know!”

A loud bang came from the door.

“Just a second!” Harold answered.

He helped Elaine pick her things up.

“You need to get in the dresser.” he said to her.

“What?! I can’t fit in that tiny space!”

“We have no other choice!” he hissed, helping her get into it.

“What’s taking so long, Mr. Lowe?”

“I’m not properly dressed, sir!”

“We’re all men here, Mr. Lowe.” he could sense the annoyance in Lighttoler’s voice.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t feel comfortable with other men looking at me.” he quickly buttoned his shirt.

“Mr. Lowe, open the door this instant!”

“Hello!” Harold cracked the door open and peeked his head.

Charles slightly frowned and pushed the door. “All the way open.”

He walked in and scanned the room. Then he turned to Harold and eyed him. When he couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary, he sighed.

“Get fully dressed and I’ll see you on the bridge in five.”

Harold waited for him to get out of sight before helping Elaine out. They both got dressed as quickly as possible and left his room. They stopped at the corner.

“Will you manage from here?”

She nodded her head in response.

“Alright.” he pulled her by the hand into him, kissing her goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” he whispered against her lips before they parted ways.

As much as Elaine was careful, you could never be too careful. From the other corner, watching like a hawk was Lightoller. And he wondered how interesting tomorrow will be after he reports this to the Captain.


	9. CHAPTER NINE

The next morning, Elizabeth was bright and early. She left her room and was headed to the suite of her eldest daughter. She knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer it.

“Good morning, Mrs. Badour.” it was Betty. “How can I help you?”

“Are they up?” Elizabeth’s voice was stern.

The girl nodded her head. “They are in the sitting area.” she said, but kept standing in the doorway as if hesitating to let Elizabeth in or not.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at her and the young girl immediately stepped aside. She passed through; her head held high. When she appeared in the sitting area, there were Estella and Edward with Philip. The first one to notice her was Edward. As he went to acknowledge her presence, she quickly signed for him to keep quiet and motioned her head towards the promenade.

“Excuse me for a sec,” Edward said, standing up.

He was followed by Estella’s curious look, but Elizabeth was long gone out of sight for her to see her.

“What’s the matter?” Edward said once he joined Elizabeth.

“Have you talked to her?” she cut right to the case.

“Yes.” he nodded. “Yes, I have. She said she’s planning a surprise for my birthday.” he laughed.

“And you believed her?” Elizabeth asked as if she was ready to mock him if he did.

“I wish I did.” he answered, looking out in the distance. “It was just strange, you know? Her behavior. She was frightened. Would someone planning some innocent event be that frightened?” he asked rhetorically.

“I’ll ask her about it—”

“Mother!” Estella shouted, standing in the door frame. “What are you two whispering about?” she stood beside Edward, taking his arm.

Estella caught Elizabeth by surprise that at first, she looked like she forgot how to speak.

“Well, I-we, uh… Well, I was recommending if we could have breakfast here, as a family?” she came up with the stupidest lie she could ever think of.

“That is a lovely idea, mother! I’ll inform Betty. And Alfred to inform others!”

“Well, well, well, it’s a party out here,” Philip said stepping out. “And yet, no one cared to invite me.”

“We were just about to, brother. Mother came up with this lovely idea to have breakfast here.” Estella exclaimed.

“Is that so?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, just us.” Elizabeth confirmed smiling at him.

“Then we better tell father and Elaine.”

“I’m on it!” Estella shouted and wandered off.

Elizabeth looked at Edward saying _that was close_ with her eyes.

* * *

“Miss Badour. Miss Badour.” Amelia was whisper-shouting trying to wake Elaine up. She already overslept.

“Go away, Amelia.” she tried to wave the other girl off in her sleep.

“Miss, Mr. Davies was here to let you know you’ll be having breakfast on your sister’s promenade.”

Elaine groaned. She came late last night and didn’t get much sleep during the night.

“Miss!”

Elaine shot her eyes open and rose up. She went her hand through her hair and looked around. Finally, her eyes laid on Amelia.

“Were you shouting at me?”

“Yes!” Amelia shot back, but now thinking about it, maybe she should have apologized instead.

“Very bold of you.” Elaine shook her head taking off the covers and sat on the edge of the bed to stretch.

“Are you all right, miss?” seeing grimaces Elaine was making while stretching, Amelia felt obliged to ask.

“I feel… a little bit sore.” she answered holding onto her neck.

“You came pretty late last night…” Amelia sing sang.

“Shut up, Amelia.” Elaine shushed her, but couldn’t help and crack a smile remembering the last night. “You are using my tiredness to overpower me.” she yawned.

“I would never, miss. I simply want to help you get dressed for today.” Amelia couldn’t help but notice that her relationship with Elaine improved since she met Harold. “And you can tell me everything about last night. If you please, of course.”

“Oh, Amelia, where do I even start…”

* * *

“Sorry, we are late to the party since no one cared to inform us in advance.” Kenneth joked once he arrived with Elaine's arm in arm.

“Nonsense, dear, you’re right on time.” Elizabeth was quick to reassure him.

“And it was a last-minute call.” Estella added.

“Well, it’s nice.” Elaine smiled at all of them trying to hide how tired she really was. “I hope for a little quality time with my family. For a change.” she added the last part under her breath.

In the first half, they were chit chatting nonsense and as the thing started to quiet down Elizabeth asked.

“So, Estella, tell us. What kept you so busy last night?” she raised an eyebrow.

Estella sat frozen, clearly not expecting this.

“I can’t tell you.” she finally mustered and continued to eat.

Elizabeth faked a laugh. “And why not?” she asked as if she was surprised.

“Oh, mother, why can’t you torment Elaine again?” she placed down her knife and fork and looked at her.

“Excuse me?” Elaine narrowed her eyes at her sister, offended.

“I will.” Elizabeth declared. “She looks like she’s going to fall asleep on this table.” Elaine opened her mouth to protest, but Elizabeth continued. “But that’s after I finish with you.”

Estella pressed her lips. She knew there was no getting out of this unless she gives her something. And the only thing she could say now was the same story she told Edward.

“Well,” she swallowed, “since Edward already knows, I guess I could tell you as well. I’m making him a surprise for his birthday.”

“A surprise party, cool.” Philip said.

“I didn’t say it was a party.” she said annoyingly.

“Really?” Elizabeth faked the amusement. “Can we help?”

“What?” Estella blinked.

“Perhaps you should take Elaine for today, otherwise she will really start snoring on the table.” Elaine wanted to protest again but was cut off. “Which leads us to your interrogation, missy.”

“I really just had a bad night, that’s all. Weird dreams, really. Couldn’t sleep properly.” Elaine rambled on to explain herself.

“I wonder what caused that…” Elizabeth half-whispered, but talking to no one in particular.

“Give them kids a break, Beth. Lots of things are going to change once we arrive, let them be.” Kenneth said.

Elizabeth made a displeased sound but didn’t press on. After the breakfast was over and they all went their separate ways, she caught up with Elaine.

“Walk with me.” it wasn’t a question; it was an order.

Elaine got curious from her mother’s tone and decided to follow her knowing something big is hiding behind this.

“I meant what I said.” Elizabeth started. “You are going to assist your sister on this task of hers.” she wrinkled her nose as if she was disgusted.

“Mother, if this is some sort of punishment—”

“Cut it! I don’t care if you were out partying all night,” on which Elaine curiously raised her eyebrows thinking would her mother really approve of that, “our main priority is your sister. I feel there’s more to the story.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?”

“You’re a smart girl, Elaine. You’ll know what to do.” she smiled and touched her cheek before leaving.

* * *

Harold could barely keep his eyes open that morning as well. He didn’t get much sleep when he finished his night rounds and it was already time for morning ones. All he could think about was her. His colleagues would often find him staring at one spot just smiling and they would mess with him. Nearly at the end of his shift, third officer Pitman approached him.

“Capitan wants to see you in his quarters.”

Harold was taken aback. “Do you know what about?” he frowned.

“No, but he said it was urgent.”

“Okay, thanks, mate.” he patted him on the shoulder and headed.

He knocked on the door and after a muffled _come in_ he opened the door.

“Ah, officer Lowe,” the Capitan exclaimed once he spotted Harold in the doorway “come on in and close the door, please.”

Harold gulped and did what he was told. They stood in silence for a couple of moments, Harold waiting for him to stop looking through some papers.

“You wanted to see me, sir—” he coughed.

“Yes, I did, Mr. Lowe.” Edward J. Smith looked back at him. “It was quite a dinner last night, wasn’t it?”

Not knowing where this was going, Harold answered “Yes, it was nice. Very kind of Mrs. Badour to invite me as well.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Capitan Smith leaned back in his chair, “they are a nice company, aren’t they?”

“I can’t complain, sir.” refusing to meet his eyes, Harold answered.

“Now, I have some reports here,” searching through the papers again, Smith started “saying you were late on duty last night. Is that correct?”

“You gave me an extra hour to rest, if needed, sir.”

“Right, right.” he confirmed after Harold refreshed his memory. “And you used it well, boy.”

“Well, yeah, I did…” Harold answered almost smiling, but then suppressed it.

“Can you elaborate more?”

“Well, sir, I… I went to my room and I—”

“Alone?”

“Well, yes, sir.” he lied. “I was sleeping until Mr. Lightoller summoned me.”

Captain looked at the paper once again.

“My reports seem to tell a different story. You were seen leaving your quarters in a company of a lady. Now, tell me, do you know that mingling with passengers is _strictly_ forbidden?”

“Yes, sir.” he kept staring down.

“Then what the hell were you doing with Elaine Badour, for Christ’s sake?!”

He cursed himself under his breath. It happened exactly what was he afraid of. At least he hoped he wouldn’t know who the girl was.

“I-I-She got lost and then I—” he tried to explain himself as best as he could.

“Enough! She was seen leaving _your_ quarters, Mr. Lowe! Do you want me to go into any more details?”

Remembering holding her hand and kissing her goodbye, he shook his head.

“I should suspend you for a day.” Harold shot his head back up after hearing this. “Yes, and I will! For lying to your captain and breaking one of the grand rules. Your actions have consequences, and it's about time you learn that. You are not allowed to leave your quarters until your rounds tomorrow morning. You may leave now.” Capitan Smith motioned with his hand towards the door.

Harold left without saying anything. He was only thinking about how this is going to ruin _everything_.

* * *

Later that afternoon Elaine knocked on the door of her sister’s room. It took Estella awhile to answer, but Elaine was persistent.

“Hey, sister.” she smiled at her. “Would you like to go for an afternoon walk with me?”

Estella seemed to hesitate for a moment, but finally, she said “Sure.” staling as much as she could. “Let me just grab my hat.”

Elaine nodded and patiently waited in the hallway. Shortly after, Estella stepped out, closing the door behind her. She kept staring down, refusing to look at her sister.

“We can go now.” she said, walking down a little bit faster than usual. She kept struggling to pull up on her gloves.

“Is someone chasing you?” Elaine asked, trying to keep up behind her.

“Huh?” Estella rose her head up and stopped in track, making Elaine almost collide with her.

“Jesus.” Elaine hissed. “Estella, is everything alright?”

“No, yes, I don’t know.” she let her shoulders fall.

Elaine walked up to her and rubbed her hands up and down her sister’s upper-arms in a comforting manner.

“You know you can talk to me?” she held her gaze on her sister.

Estella nodded her head, keeping it down.

“Come,” Elaine nudged her, “let’s go outside so we can talk.”

Once they we’re strolling down the 1st class deck, Estella opened up.

“I just feel a lot of pressure, Elaine.” she admitted. “With the wedding and, you know, the rest…” she trailed off. “Everything has to be perfect, but honestly it’s beyond my powers. Our mother is pulling all the strings, I had no much say in this.” she sniffed.

“Oh, Stella…” Elaine placed a comforting arm around her sister’s shoulders. “I didn’t know you were feeling this way. I thought you wanted this.”

They reached the end of the deck and stood beside the railing looking down at the passengers.

“Well, yeah, you can say that pretending everything’s great runs in the family.”

“You didn’t have to keep this from me for so long. You should’ve told me.” Elaine placed a comforting hand on her back. “Is that why you’re planning something special for Edward? To blow off some steam?” she continued.

Estella shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe.” seeing that she didn’t satisfy Elaine with that answer, she continued. “I’d like to be in charge of something for once. To see what it is like. To have no one tell me how to sit or speak or behave.” she paused for a second. “I envy you, Elaine.” she looked at her.

Elaine was slightly taken aback. “M-me? Why?”

“Please, you would never let this happen. You are so carefree. Mother is afraid of you.”

“Goodness, Estella, shut up. What are you saying?” Elaine turned away not wanting to believe her ears.

“Yes, she’s frightened.” Estella chuckled, being amused by the sudden reaction from her sister. “She says you’re either going to make or break this family.”

“Oh, wow, thanks a lot mother.” Elaine blinked in surprise looking at the distance. “Can’t she pick on Philip for once?” she smirked, giving Estella the side-eye.

“Oh, no, he’s the perfect son.” Estella breathed. “Speaking of which…” she nodded her head in the direction of the deck below them, where Philip and Edward were talking with Lightoller.

“Elaine, I want you to know that I love Edward.” she said all of a sudden in a more serious tone. “I really do. And I want to marry him.”

Elaine studied her sister for a while to see what made her take a sudden turn of the conversation.

“I know that.” she said at last. “I-I can see it in you, and when you two are together. You two have a great dynamic, you are the perfect match.” she smiled, but it was more like trying to convince herself of all of those things.

“Good.” Estella answered, satisfied. “Should we go now? Rest before dinner?”

Elaine nodded her head in agreement. She walked Estella to her room before making her way alone to hers when a thought hit her. She didn’t see Harold not even once the whole day. She did the calculation in her head and concluded that he should not be on his rounds now, but instead in his room.

She quickly turned around, making her way back and sneakily getting into the officer’s quarters without anyone seeing her. Once she was in front of his door, she knocked. Instead of seeing the joy on Harold’s face like when he usually saw her, she saw how horrified he actually was.

“What are you doing here?” he hissed, looking left and right before harshly pulling her into his room before anyone could see them. “You shouldn’t be here.” he crossed his arms, making the obvious distance between them.

Elaine leaned on the desk behind her, gripping at the end of it. She was surprised by his sudden change of behavior.

“I-I didn’t see you the whole day. I-I got worried something might’ve happened—”

He laughed out loud although nothing was funny.

“Oh, yeah? Well, something _did_ happen. I got suspended!” he shouted.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. What happened?” she started making her way over to him, evidently worried.

“What happened, my God…” he chuckled. “ _You_ happened, Elaine!”

“Me?!” she placed a hand on her chest. “You want to say you got suspended because of _me_?” she frowned.

“Who else? Now my promotion and everything I worked hard for are in question. And all because of a stupid one-night stand!”

“Well, maybe you should’ve thought about it before you arranged our little date!” she shot back.

“I should’ve stayed away from you. You _are_ a walking trouble!”

“Don’t pretend you know so much about me when you know nothing!”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you were the one who actually reported me.” he said in a calmer tone.

“What?! What could I possibly gain from that?!” she was astonished by his accusations.

“I don’t know, you rich snobs love attention.” he said making a half-disgusted face.

She stared in disbelief at him. “So, all of this meant absolutely nothing to you?” she lowered her voice not wanting to fight anymore.

“What, did you think I was going to marry you or something?” he said it like it was funny.

“Like I would want to marry you.” she both looked and said in disgust.

“Listen, you’re not the first girl I’ve been with and you’re certainly not the last.” he stated to her. “I can’t let any girl get in the way of me and my true love and that is sea. But you were a good distraction, though.” he added at last.

“You make me sick. Avoid me at all costs.” she made her way past him and out of the door.

Once she was no longer around him, she realized how upset she actually got. Her heart was pounding and her legs and hands were shaking like crazy. She was on the verge of tears and had to make a stop to lean against the wall before her legs gave out. Shortly after she managed to steady her breath and get herself to thinking properly again, she heard a commotion down the hallway. She quickly turned a corner before anyone could see her.

She heard muffled voices, but couldn’t really make out what they were saying due to distance, due to excitement. But once she concentrated more, she recognized one of the voices. It was her own sister. Her eyes went wide in surprise. She peeked around the corner and saw Estella standing in the hallway speaking to no other than second officer Charles Lightoller, who was standing in the doorway of, supposedly, his room.

Elaine quickly ducked back before they noticed her, pressing her back against the wall as if she wanted blend in. Before long, she heard footsteps approaching and soon enough she was facing her sister’s back walking past her. Luckily for her, Estella just kept walking. Elaine waited until she no longer heard any footsteps and was only surrounded by silence when she checked if the coast was clear before she walked as fast as she could out of there.


	10. CHAPTER TEN

Getting back to her room, Elaine shut the door behind her. She was crushed with the thoughts, but won’t let herself feel angry because of some boy she met three days ago. She slowly walked across the room and seated herself at the table, staring into space.

“You came back!” Elizabeth marched into the room and sat opposite of her daughter when she spotted her. “Did you find out anything?”

“I wish to rest, mother.” was all Elaine could muster against her lips, still staring ahead.

“But—” she wanted to protest, but Elaine suddenly rose up and dragged herself to the bed. Elizabeth frowned. “Elaine, what is this behavior?!”

“I am tired. We’ll talk after dinner.” The young girl muffled against her sheets.

Elizabeth stood in the middle of the room with her lips pressed into a thin line, burning holes into her daughter’s back with her squinted eyes.

“Alright.” She said at last before turning away and leaving the room.

Later that evening, Amelia was waking Elaine up from her accidental nap. They quickly rushed to get ready for dinner in time.

“It’s alright, Amelia, I think that’ll do.” Elaine lightly pushed the other girl away, feeling grumpy. Even she didn’t know why she was feeling that way; was that post nap grumpiness or thoughts of Harold that were creeping in the back of her mind? She frowned at herself in the mirror on the thought of him.

“Oh, I’m sorry, miss,” Amelia backed away.

Elaine breathed out hard and relaxed her face. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t unload myself on you. Not because of this anyway. It’s not your fault.”

Amelia stiffed a smile. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, uncertain. The last time she suggested something like that Elaine scolded her and said they are not friends.

But before Elaine could answer, there was a knock on the door and Amelia breathed the sigh of relief. The two girls looked at each other, clearly no one was expecting anyone.

“Do you want me to get that for you, miss?”

“No, no,” Elaine waved her hand “It’s probably Philip. Came to escort me and all that.” She playfully rolled her eyes with a smile.

Amelia returned the smile. “You look lovely, miss.”

Elaine wanted to say something sassy back, but thought against it and just shot an “Thank you.” over her shoulder.

She opened the door expecting to see her brother standing there, but was astonished when she saw William instead.

“Well, very bold of you showing up at my door.” She crossed her arms, looking him up and down.

“After what you said? Yeah, I couldn’t care less, Elaine.” He said like it was nothing at all. “It’s you who need my help, anyway.” He knew just what to say to provoke her and it was working. Elaine’s blood was boiling, like the sight of him alone wasn’t enough.

Behind the door, Elaine was gripping the handle so strong that her knuckles turned white. She didn’t want him to see that he got to her so she kept her silence.

“So, do yourself a favor and let me escort you to dinner.” He said while extending his arm.

She hesitated. What she wanted to do and do herself a favor is to slam the door in his face. But she sighed and slipped her arm under his.

“Lead the way, Mr. Caison.” She said staring ahead, head held high. He made a smug smirk.

The dining room was already crowded and the band was playing in the background. She felt awkward walking beside William, everyone just nodding their heads in passing until they reached the table. And there were all of the familiar faces Elaine met three days ago. Everyone stared in shock at the two of them.

“Good evening, gentlemen.” William said. “And ladies.” He added, smiling. “So sorry to keep you waiting.” He nudged Elaine towards her seat as to help her sit down.

“William,” it was Charlotte.

Elaine couldn’t really decide was she scolding her son for being around someone who offended him before all the important people the other night, but here they were still dining at their table.

“Oh, mother, I already told you.” He said still standing over Elaine’s chair “Water under the bridge, a misunderstanding” He looked down at her and she half grinned at him as to say thank you.

He walked around the table to his seat, saying “I’m sure miss Elaine was feeling a little lightheaded and a few of harsh words slipped her tongue. I’m almost certain she wouldn’t have said those things if she was in her common sense.” He said sitting down and staring at her expectedly.

She was staring daggers back at him. Not that this blonde brat was telling her, and everyone else, what was she supposedly thinking, he was accusing her of being drunk also.

“I would—" she started, but her mother slapped her hand under the table “not, of course.” She let out a shaky smile. “So, in that name I’d love to apologize to William before all of you here that I spoke in haste and raise a toast in his name.” she said as she picked up her glass and raised it.

“Very good,” Ismay said. “Very good, she’s owning up to her actions.”

That made Elaine want to roll her eyes.

“That is my daughter for you. Very bold at times, but will admit if she was wrong.” Kenneth said proudly and Elizabeth followed with an approving smile.

Elaine glanced over at Estella who shifted beside Edward. She couldn’t really read her face though she held her head down.

“That was an easy pass, don’t you think?” Elizabeth leaned over to whisper to Elaine. “What’s the catch, do you wonder?”

“We are the catch, mother.” Said Elaine through gritted teeth. “Think about this next time you say I don’t care about this family.”

Elizabeth took a sharp breath. “Well, you had to unleash your wittiness somewhere now. And if it’s going to be me, so be it.”

Elaine didn’t have to say anything else and Elizabeth fixed her posture and smiled at everyone else as if nothing had happened. The waiters brought food soon enough and they all dined in peace.

Elizabeth couldn’t wait for the men to finally leave the table and once they did, she immediately turned to Elaine, but Charlotte cut her short.

“I have to say, Elaine, I very much appreciate what you did for our William.”

Elaine faked a big smile. “I’m glad we could work this out.”

“Me too.” Said Charlotte. “I don’t want to have to think badly of you.”

“God forbids!” jumped Elizabeth.

Someone cleared their throat and all three ladies looked up. It was Edward with Estella on his arm.

“Oh, you were still here.” Said Elizabeth as if she didn’t realize.

“Yeah, and actually we were just leaving. We just wanted to wish you good rest of the night.”

All that time Estella was staring blankly at Elaine and Elaine was staring back at her. Their staring was ended when Edward tugged Estella behind him. It left Elaine feeling strange, her mind running wild.

“Now, you and I have something to talk about.” Started Elizabeth. “Elaine, are you even listening?!” she questioned her unresponsive daughter.

_Oh my God!_

Panicked Elaine inside her brain.

It dawned on her. Now it all made sense.

She looked at her mother with eyes wide open before standing up and running out of the dining room, leaving her mother shouting her name behind her.


	11. CHAPTER ELEVEN

She was frantically running down the deck, colliding with some people, looking for that one person. She slowed down to catch her breath when she spotted the one she was looking for ahead. She approached him carefully.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” she said, facing his back.

He turned his head to the side before turning around fully.

“Ah, miss Badour, how can I help you this evening?” Charles Lightoller ignored her previous question.

“You reported Harold to the Captain,” she wasn’t really sure was she stating it or asking.

He smirked, looking down at her.

“Now, why would I do that? What could I possibly gain from it?”

“I don’t know!” she raised her arms up in the air in frustration. “You had it for us since day one!”

“So, you admit you’ve been sneaking around with him?” he raised his eyebrows.

Elaine stood there distraught. “I, no—I… Well, you’ve been also sneaky with my sister.” She declared all proud. “I could gladly return the favor.”

Even if that took Charles by surprise, he didn’t let it show. “And do what? Report me? Do you have evidence that could back that up?”

“I have evidence of my own eyes! I saw her leaving your room this very afternoon!”

Lightoller looked at her significantly. “Which would mean you also visited Mr. Lowe this very afternoon. Miss Badour, you’re only getting yourself in more and more trouble. Well, maybe not really yourself, but your boy certainly.”

“He’s not my boy.” She gritted.

“He isn’t? Good for you then! You see, miss Badour, he’s a player. He plays with women’s hearts on every ship we’ve been. Somebody had to put an end to it. I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“And what are you doing with your wife’s heart?” Elaine asked cold heartedly, on which he put his hands behind his back to hide his wedding ring. “You’re a pig. Stay away from my sister.” She didn’t wait for him to reply, just turned around to walk away.

“Maybe you should tell that to your sister!” he shot back, but Elaine didn’t have time for him anymore. She’ll have to deal with Estella first thing tomorrow.

It was the morning of Sunday service and everyone was gathered in the main hall. The tension was thick in the air. No one was particularly talking with anyone. Elaine was eyeing Estella from corner of her eye while they stood in line, singing the hymn. She thought about catching her after the service to have _a talk_ with her. Unfortunately for her, unpleasant surprise awaited her outside the hall.

“Elaine, we have to talk.”

“What do you want?”

“Elaine, please—” he reached for her arm

“No!” she squirmed away “I don’t want to talk to you! I don’t even want to see you! Stay away from me, Harold, or by God, I shall tell the captain you’re disturbing me!” she shouted with fire in her eyes.

He just stared at her. He gulped, at last, and nodded his head in understatement, not wanting to draw any further unnecessary attention. She turned around and walked away to look for Estella, but she was long gone.

“Dammit!” she swore under her breath.

“I still think you have something to tell me.” Somebody linked arms with Elaine and pulled her forward. Of course, that somebody was her mother.

 _Dammit again_ , thought Elaine.

“And what could that be, sweet mother?” she grinned at her.

“Please, don’t humor me. You know what it is. And you are not getting away with it this time.” Elizabeth half threatened.

Elaine shivered. She couldn’t really tell their mother that Estella was having an affair. With an officer aboard this ship, alas. But she still needed to give her something.

“Estella, uh, she’s just having the wedding jitters. She’s deranged.” God, this was awful. Certainly not what Elizabeth was hoping for.

“That’s what she said?” Elaine nodded. “And you believed her?”

 _Well, now I’m certain I don’t believe a word she said_ , Elaine wanted to say, but she really couldn’t.

“Maybe you’re looking too much into it when there’s nothing.” Elaine tried to shoot her an encouraging smile.

Elizabeth stopped dead in their track and squeezed Elaine’s arm hard, looking into her eyes. “God help us you’re right.”

There was something frightening in that moment and Elaine understood perfectly. If Estella strayed away everything would go falling down from that moment. Still, she kept her mouth sealed in hope she could help her sister out of this.

That afternoon after lunch, Estella took a stroll on deck by herself. Although it was rather chilly, she enjoyed the sun on her face. Her pleasure was cut short when someone grabbed her by the arms and dragged to the more secluded area. She tried to scream and squirm away, but was quickly shushed by her attacker.

“Charles?” she widened her eyes. “Wh-What are you doing?”

“You need to take care of your sister.” He pressed her by the shoulders, looking in her eyes persistent.

“Wh-What? But I thought that’s already taken care of.”

“Apparently not good enough.” He shook his head, backing off. “She knows.”

Estella looked at him. “What?” she questioned.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. She doesn’t know _that_.” She let out a sigh of relief. “However, she does know about us.”

“How could she possibly—”

“She saw you, Estella!” he hissed almost in her face. “She saw you leaving my quarters yesterday!” he said in much lower tone, careful not to draw any attention.

“But there was no one! I made sure of it!”

“Did you really?!” he was in her face now and she winced back.

He backed off a little, realizing they had company now and greeted the passers-by, trying not to act suspicious. Estella detached herself from the wall hoping she didn’t look too much distressed. When they were alone once again, he turned back to face her.

“You should’ve been more careful.” He said.

“So, this is all my fault now?!” she frowned.

“I didn’t say that—”

“But you meant it!” she shouted. “Well, I’m sorry I’m not as smart as her! Even you are amazed by her!”

“I’m not—”

“Shut up! I’m not blind! I see the way you talk about her. You are amazed that she managed to outsmart us, that she is in step with us if not even one step ahead! Why can’t anyone just focus on me for once?!” she was shouting, desperate for any kind of attention she could get. Charles tried to shush her.

“That’s not entirely true what you just said, my darling.” He wanted to calm her down by sweettalking to her. “I have to admit, she confronted me last night. She threatened me with all her knowledge and told me to stay away from you.”

“But what is she going to do?”

“Nothing.” He declared. “I took care of that part. She can deny her feelings for Harold all she wants, but she won’t do anything to endanger him even more.” she absorbed his every word. He then turned towards her and cupped her cheeks. “Now I need you to take care of this other part.”

Elaine spent that afternoon not doing pretty much anything. She had a lot on her mind, thinking about her encounter with Harold, her mother, and most importantly, Estella and how she could approach her. Knock on the door filled the silence in the room. Amelia rose her head up and looked at Elaine who was now sitting up-right on her bed. Elaine looked at her maid significantly as if to say _well go open it_ with her eyes. On the other side of the door was Betty, Estella’s servant.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, miss, I have a message to deliver from your sister. She invites you to have a tea with her in her room.” she curtsied.

“Very well, I’ll be there presently.” Elaine replied.

Betty curtsied again and left. Well, one part of the solution came to her alone.

Once she got changed, she was standing outside Estella’s room, waiting to be let in. Soon after, Betty opened the door and welcomed her in. Estella was already waiting for her, sitting by the table. It was just two of them.

“Hello, sister.” Estella greeted her. Elaine stared at her. “Well, don’t just stand there like a lamb, sit.” Estella said and motioned towards the chair opposite of her.

“I thought there would be more of us.” Elaine sat in the plush luxurious chair. “Not just two of us.” She looked at her sister straight in the eyes.

Estella was taking a sip of her tea before and now was eyeing Elaine over the rim of her cup. She put the cup down before saying.

“Well, I thought we could spend some quality sister time. We’re only one day apart from arriving and we didn’t get to do pretty much anything.”

“I thought we were spending time yesterday,” Elaine commented, raising her eyebrows and taking a sip from her cup.

Estella narrowed her face and pressed her lips. “ _Yesterday_ our mother sent you to interrogate me.”

“Well you certainly gave her a reason to.” Elaine declared.

The other sister was growing more impatient. “And what did you tell her?”

“There wasn’t anything to tell.” the younger one was fumbling with her cup. “Same thing you told me.” She lifted her head and looked at the older one.

Estella leaned forward, resting her forearms on the table. “And what do you think, Elaine?” she challenged her. “You certainly do have an opinion, don’t you?”

“Should I have a reason not to believe you, Estella?” she replied with a question.

This might’ve taken her off guard.

“Of course not.” her posture fell and she let out a heavy breath, she took a sip.

“Anyway, where is Edward?” Elaine asked holding her cup, switching the topic and trying to lighten the mood.

“Out with father and Philip.” Estella answered not particularly interested.

Elaine frowned, but didn’t say anything, just sipped. The rest of their time went in talking nonsense.

Sometime before dinner Elaine was outside on deck, reading a book when someone approached her. She lifted her head to face a familiar young man.

“Good evening, miss Badour.” he tipped his head down at her. “My name is James Moody.”

She closed the book, now remembering she saw him with Harold couple of times.

“How can I help you, Mr. Moody?”

“I have a message to deliver from Mr. Lowe—” Elaine had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure I don’t want to hear it. Besides, he already said his thing.” She smiled at him. “And you shouldn’t let him boss you around.”

“If you just let him speak this morning I wouldn’t be here.” He let out and she stared at him in disbelief. “I’m sorry, miss.” he put his head down. “I just wanted to tell you how sorry he is.”

“James—Mr. Moody,” she corrected “You can tell him that I won’t stand between him and his promotions and his true love,” she talked in a calm tone. “And I won’t do anything more to endanger his current position.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the dinner announcement. Elaine turned her attention back to Moody and continued on.

“But this, whatever that was, is over now.” she looked at him sympathetically. “If you’ll excuse me now,” she prepared herself to get up and leave.

“Of course,” he stepped aside to give her space. “I’ll deliver what you said to Harold.”

Elaine gave him half a smile. “It was nice meeting you, Mr. Moody.”

“Likewise, miss Elaine.” he tipped his hat again.

The dinner was boring as ever. Listening to the same old conversations, seeing same old faces… Well, that was at least until the gentlemen got up and left. Elaine spent some time conversing with the remaining ladies, not having anything better to do.

“If you’ll excuse me,” suddenly Estella rose up, grabbing everyone attention. “I need to use the rest room.” she did a little curtsy.

Elaine brushed that off, not wanting to doubt her sister, while Elizabeth and everyone else looked at her sympathetically. Quite some time has passed and Estella hadn’t returned yet, but no one seemed to notice until they all rose up to leave. Then Elizabeth’s eyes fell on an empty chair.

“Where is Estella?” she questioned. “Elaine, where is your sister?”

_As if I know, but I have my guesses._

“Apparently she hadn’t returned yet.” Elaine answered, sounding exhausted. “Maybe she went back to her room.”

“Well, don’t just stand there, see to it.” her mother hurried her.

Elaine stood distraught at first before turning on her heals and heading for the restrooms. Of course, she found it empty so she headed for the Estella’s room. She knocked on the door and was surprised to see Edward answer them. He seemed a bit off.

“Edward,” she breathed. “Is Estella here?”

“No.” he simply replied, not even seeming worried. “She was here, though.”

“Well, do you know where she is now?” Elaine was confused.

Edward stood in the doorway holding a drink in his hand pretending to think for a moment. “Yeah, I’ve got a couple ideas.”

Elaine couldn’t believe this was happening again. Not before she could intervene. It actually took some time for her to find her sister, but once she did, oh did she had a lot to hear.

“Did you do it?” said the male voice.

“I tried to. She’s tough to crack.” Answered female voice in frustration.

Of course, those were voices of Charles Lightoller and Estella.

“Did she tell you something?” Charles was cupping her red face, worried.

Elaine frowned, was Estella crying?

Estella’s face changed her when she remembered. “I-I got scared, Charles. She’s just… I didn’t want to push her buttons.”

“You’re cracking under the pressure again.” He scolded her. “We’ve talked about this; you can’t let that happen.”

“I know, I know.” She squealed “But I don’t know what she knows, maybe she knows more than she told—” she started talking really fast, increasing in volume.

“Enough of that!” he cut her off. “We had a plan!” he hissed.

“I told Edward.” She whispered.

“You what?!”

“I don’t want to be with him anymore. I don’t love him. I… I love you, Charles.”

Charles Lightoller was for the first time left speechless.

“I… This wasn’t part of the plan.”

“That’s all you can say?!” Estella cried. “I risked my whole life and future for you and you—” she gasped.

“There, there,” Charles couldn’t take any more of that so he comforted her.

Once he made sure she was settled down, he went the other way leaving her to sit alone. Elaine didn’t want to approach her right away. Her sister was still upset and wiping off her tears. So instead, she was processing the information she gathered so far.

They had a plan, alright. Actually, Charles had. Obviously, he wanted Harold out of his way. But why? He was already the first officer, what more could he want? Unless… Unless… he felt threatened by the junior officer. That was it, no doubt. But then again, why? Oh, of course!

_Harold is a player._

He would play his way into the higher ranks just because he’s bold and daring while Charles was hard working and honest. But what did he need Estella for? That thought was interrupted when Estella showed herself around the corner and took them both by surprise. She jumped in fear, but Elaine stood still glued to the wall. Looking into Estella’s teary eyes, she now knew everything to confront her sister.

“Hello, sister.” it was her turn to smirk now.


	12. CHAPTER TWELVE

“What do you want?” Estella spat, distressed.

If Elaine didn’t know Estella, she would’ve thought nothing was wrong. But they were sisters after all and she knew her sister very well. She was still smirking, looking at her and thinking what to say. No, better they were somewhere more… _secluded_ for the actual conversation.

“You were gone for some time so,” Estella rolled her eyes midsentence, already knowing the end of it and started walking away. “So mother sent me to look for you.” Elaine frowned at such behavior and followed her.

“Of course she did.” Estella muttered under her breath.

“Well, we were worried.” Elaine tried to explain. “You just left with an awful excuse, to be honest.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I’m not as intelligent as you, Elaine!” Estella shouted, throwing her hands up in frustration.

“E-excuse me?” the younger sister was caught off guard.

“You say you’re so tired being in the center of attention, but what do you do?! You create chaos everywhere you go and attract all the attention always! Others cannot come to the fore because of you! The spotlight is always on you!” Estella screamed and shouted all her frustration and jealousy out while Elaine tried to shush her. “Don’t you shush me, you little brat, you will hear me out—”

“Yes, but not here—"

“I play by the rules, I do everything they say and you’re still the perfect daughter! I’m sick of it, Elaine! I’m sick of being in your shadow!” she was going hysterical now.

Elaine stood there like her sister slapped her in the face. She did, in fact, but with words. Estella was still shouting something, but she muted her out completely. She looked around and realized they were attracting unnecessary attention. She grabbed Estella by her upper-arms and got in her sister’s face.

“Whaa—”

“Oh, Estella, shut up!” she spat. “Look around you.” she shook her. “You are the main attraction now. Is this the attention you want? You want people to talk that you’re crazy?” she looked her sister up and down in disgust. “Bloody hell, look at you.” she gripped her arm and pulled her with her.

“Where are we going?” Estella cried.

“To your room.”

“No, I can’t face Edward anymore.” she tried to break away while Elaine tried to hold her still.

“Edward’s not there.”

“How do you know?” she was still wiggling.

“Because,” Elaine said through gritted teeth and her grip tightened, obviously hurting Estella since she calmed down. “I was there before I came here. He told me where I can find you.”

“So you know?” Estella said, staring at the floor, too proud to meet Elaine’s eyes.

“I know.” she confirmed.

Elaine opened the door of Estella’s suite and pushed her inside. Betty immediately ran into the room when she heard the door open, but Elaine dismissed her for the evening in Estella’s name and now they were completely alone.

“Sit.” she demanded, nodding at one of the plush armchairs they had. Estella obeyed. Elaine took a deep breath before she started talking.

“You now listen to me, sister.” She leaned her hands on the coffee table and pierced through her sister with her eyes, trying to get her attention. When Estella finally looked back at her, she seemed more collected even though her eyes were still teary and she was sobbing now and then. Knowing her sister, Elaine knew there was more going on inside her head and they were just warming up.

“I didn’t know you were feeling that way,” she started and Estella rolled her eyes, but she decided to ignore it and just go on. “You never showed any indications.” Estella was still making faces and Elaine was losing her patience. “But if it's for your consolation, you were the main attraction on this voyage since day one.” she folded her arms across her chest.

“I’ve learned from the best.” Estella mockingly smiled.

“Well, you are a bad student.” Elaine shot back.

Estella’s whole face changed.

“You were doing it subtly in the beginning, but then you slipped.” Elaine raised a finger to point it out even more.

“But did you slip, Elaine?” the other sister questioned. Elaine looked at her, not really following. “Or perhaps, you didn’t slip alone?” Estella confidently went on.

Elaine’s mouth hung open. This was only confirming her previous thoughts.

“You little…” she whispered while Estella chuckled as if she wanted to say ‘finally’.

“It wasn’t Charles, it was you. You reported Harold to the captain.”

“Of course I did, Elaine.” she spread her arms.

“Why? Why couldn’t he report it himself? Why he needed you?”

“You see, Elaine, we needed neutral ground.”

“What?!” she spat, trying not to burst out laughing. “Have you said that out loud before? Do you realize how stupid that sounds?”

“Please don’t insult my intelligence and let me finish.” Elaine rolled her eyes, but remained silent. “Therefore, if I did it that clears a path for me and Charles.”

“How does that clear the path for you and Charles if you saw me leaving Harold’s cabin?” she frowned.

“Ah, of course. I couldn’t say I have the evidence of my own eyes, but I had this… if you allow me?” she motioned to stand up.

Elaine nodded her head still frowning. Estella rose up, walked to her drawer and pulled something out. Elaine’s curious gaze followed her all the way until she presented the item before her on the table. She almost chocked on her spit. It was that note Harold had given her when he joined them for dinner.

“You were snooping around my room,” she wasn’t sure she was asking or saying. “You were snooping around my room!”

“I needed something to back my story up.” Estella explained in her innocent voice. “But yeah, Charles did help saying he saw you leaving Harold’s cabin. But the report was mainly made by me. See, then all the attention would be on Harold and—”

Elaine didn’t hear her any more, she was beyond herself.

“How could you? Who gave you the right?!” she snapped.

“Excuse me?”

“Have you got no shame?! If not for anyone else, at least for yourself?! You went into the affair with a married man!”

“He isn’t married.”

Elaine smiled in agony. “Well of course he would have taken his wedding ring off when he was with you!”

“Shut up! You’re making this up! You just can’t believe you’re in the wrong this time.” Estella couldn’t accept the truth.

The younger one knelt before the older one. “Oh, but no, no, dear sister,” Elaine almost cried how even after all she couldn’t be mad at her sister. Instead, she was very sorry for her. “You… You called off your engagement and wedding for something that could never last! You lost a man that truly loves you and for what?! Because you were hungry for attention?!” she placed a hand over Estella’s, trying to reach through her, but Estella kept avoiding her gaze. Finally, she stood up. “Well, you got it.” she was now standing fully before her sister. “All eyes were on you on this trip. I hope you’re happy.”

She turned to leave, but before she closed the door behind her she turned around once more.

“Remember when you said how I’ll either make or break this family?” that seemed to catch Estella’s attention for she quickly glanced at her young sister. “Well, congratulations. You broke it before me. I can only make it from here.” she said and closed the door.

Only when she found herself alone in the hall Elaine realized how hard she was feeling. Almost the same after her encounter with Harold yesterday, only worse. This was her sister, her family, her blood. She needed to take deep breaths in and out to calm herself. Her face and neck were burning hot. She stepped outside to catch some fresh night air. It was late already and there were not many people outside. Thereby, it was much colder than the previous nights.

Elaine walked up to the railing and gripped it almost that hard that her knuckles turned white. She stared at the still water thinking. She never felt so betrayed. Better yet, she couldn’t believe her own sister could betray her like that. She looked up at the starless sky.

Huh, she smirked, not a single one.

Then all of a sudden felt vibrations through the metal.

Then slight tremor.

Soon after the whole ship was shaking, followed with growling and creaking sounds. Elaine didn’t know should she back off or hold on tighter onto the railing.

Suddenly that… event was over. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She didn’t think much of it. Something might’ve happened in the engine room and it wasn’t her concern. But it might’ve been too soon.

To her astonishment, there was a large object moving towards her from her left. She screamed in surprised and jumped back realizing how close it was. Her back was pressed against the wall while she watched in horror as the iceberg had passed by. She blinked a few tears that remained in her eyes away.

Nothing had happened in the engine room.

Titanic had struck an iceberg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies! I hope you're all well and safe in the comfort of your home. I'm glad to see a few of you enjoying my story so I'm giving you this chapter as a Christmas present! Leave me your thoughts and I'll see you soon! Merry Christmas and happy holidays! :*


	13. CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Well, Elaine couldn’t be sure that’s actually what had happened just because they had passed an iceberg. But if that was the case, she better be safe than sorry. She did the math in her head and even though she was mad at him, she still knew his schedule by heart. Actually, being mad at him was the last thing she was right now. She finally changed her mind and wanted to talk to him.

“I’m sorry, miss, you can’t go through here.” She was stopped by a steward before entering officers’ quarters.

“I need to speak to officer Lowe, please—” she still tried to go past him.

“He’s off duty right now, miss, you can try and speak to him later.”

“No, you don’t understand, it’s an emergency—”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, miss—”

“What’s going on there?!” it was an unfamiliar voice coming from behind that caught them both off guard. The man walked up to them.

“This lady tried entering officers’ quarters, sir.” the steward explained.

The man looked at distressed Elaine and back to the steward. “I’ll handle it, you’re dismissed.” he waved him off.

The steward nodded his head and left. The man looked after him until he was out of sight and then turned towards Elaine who watched him with big terrified eyes.

“Chief officer Henry Wilde.” he introduced himself. “How can I help you, miss?”

“Please, sir, I need to speak to officer Harold Lowe. There’s been an emergency.” she pleaded.

He let out a deep breath and seemed to think about it. “I’m afraid I can’t help you with that, miss. Let me walk you back to your class. First class, I assume?” he took her by the arm and started leading her against her own will towards the 1st class entrance.

“Yes, but that’s beside the point—” she tried to pull away.

“You can find him tomorrow afternoon when he is on his rounds again. Young lady like you should be asleep when his next rounds start.” he joked and chuckled for himself.

Elaine was only growing more impatient. “Tomorrow might never come! I saw the iceberg!”

That made him stop in his track and look at her. While he was thinking of his next words, she looked behind him and spotted someone.

“James! James!” she called and broke away from Wilde’s grip running towards him.

“Elaine! Wh-What are you—you shouldn’t be here.” he was overwhelmed by the crowd and commotion around him.

“James, please! I saw the iceberg, I need to talk to Harold, please!”

“I-I-“

“I don’t want to do it later, I need to speak with him now, please.” she pleaded.

She almost got to him and he almost nodded his head when the order was shouted to him.

“Moody! Crew’s meeting in a chart room, now!”

He looked distressed from Elaine to officer who shouted his order. “Aye aye, sir!” he shouted in response and looked back into Elaine’s pleading eyes. “I-I’m sorry, Elaine. You’ll have to do it tomorrow.” and with that he turned around and ran inside.

Elaine was left there standing alone. She felt even more betrayed. Oh God, how stupid she was. If only she talked to Harold when she had a chance. She started making her way towards her room when she overheard boatswain and captain’s conversation. Mr. Wilde and Mr. Andrews were with them as well.

“Boiler room 6 is flooded 8 feet above the plate and the mail hold is worse. She’s all buckled in—” said carpenter.

“Can you shore up?” captain cut in the question.

“Not unless the pumps get ahead.” answered carpenter.

“Have you seen the damage in the mail hold?” asked Mr. Andrews.

“No, she’s already underwater.” carpenter replied.

Oh God, this is bad, thought Elaine. She better hurry and tell her family about it.

She was met with Charlie standing outside her door. She looked at him in confusion.

“Good evening,” he greeted her nonchalantly “we’ve been looking for you, miss.” and opened the door for her.

Her whole family was inside, seated in the sitting area. Well, everyone except Estella.

“Elaine!” it was Philip who first noticed her and caught everyone’s attention. They all looked at her expectedly.

“Something serious has happened.” she started.

“Yes, it has.” confirmed Kenneth. Elaine looked at Edward, but he didn’t meet her gaze. “Both my daughters have disappeared tonight.” Kenneth went on.

“I sent you to look for your sister and then you disappeared as well.” said Elizabeth, holding her head.

“Now that one is back, we could get the idea where the other might be.” Kenneth said, holding a drink and waving his arms around.

“Estella is fine. I was just with her in her room.” she somehow mustered against her lips. She caught Edward smirking. “But,” she quickly went on before anyone could cut in “that’s not what I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh?” questioned her father like the disappearance of her sister wasn’t such a big deal to her.

Elaine’s mind was racing. What did she really wanted to say?

That Estella broke off the engagement? According to their behavior, they knew nothing about it. So, Edward didn’t tell them.

Or that Titanic had struck an iceberg and could potentially sink?

Maybe both? No, she could never do that to her sister. Besides, it wasn’t her place to tell. Before she could say anything, someone knocked and busted in their room.

“Mr. Badour?” it was a steward.

“Can’t you see that we’re busy?” Kenneth asked sternly.

“Sir, I’ve been told to ask you to, please, put on your lifebelts and come up to the boat deck.” he proceeded to enter the room.

“We are having the family meeting.” Kenneth tried again.

“I’m sorry to inconvenience you, Mr. Badour, but it’s Captain’s orders.” he walked towards the dresser and took out pair of lifebelts. “Now please, dress warmly. It’s quite cold out tonight. May I suggest topcoats and hats?”

“Is this the emergency you talked about?” Kenneth asked Elaine, but didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he walked off.

The steward came back in the room they were all sitting. Seeing Elaine’s distraught face expression, he approached her.

“Not to worry, miss. I’m sure it’s just a precaution.”

Elaine nodded her head and gave him a little smile as to reassure him as well.

Harold had been relived since 8pm that evening and was asleep in his cabin. As an officer, he didn’t get much sleep since he only had 2 to 4 free hours between shifts so when he finally fell asleep, he was knocked out. The commotion and shouts from the outside woke him up some time later. When he was fully aware, he realized how unusually loud it was. He got up and went outside, stopping the first hurried seaman he saw.

“What’s happening? What’s this commotion all about? Are we having a lifeboat drill at midnight?!”

“No, sir! We hit an iceberg, sir!” the seaman said out of breath. Harold was ready to dismiss him, but the seaman said “And, sir? You’re expected at crew’s meeting.”

“Very well.” Harold nodded his head.

He went back to his room and got dressed in his uniform. As he was dressing up, he was thinking how he remained asleep during the collision. Ha, sixteen years at sea does wonders, he thought to himself and chuckled. He grabbed his revolver from the drawer and secured it before leaving the room and joining the other officers.

He found himself standing beside his friend James Moody, but before the two of them could emerge into a conversation, the captain stormed in followed by Thomas Andrews and Bruce Ismay.

“This is most unfortunate, captain!” said Ismay, dressed in nightrobe.

He was being ignored while the captain helped Thomas Andrews to spread the blueprint across the table.

“Water 14 feet above the keel in 10 minutes,” Andrews started explaining. “in the forepeak, in all 3 holds, and in Boiler room 6.”

“That’s right, sir.” confirmed carpenter.

“When we can get underway, damn it?!” Mr. Ismay asked, impatiently.

“That’s five compartments!” replied Andrews. “She can stay afloat with the first four compartments breached, but not five. Not five.” he repeated. “As she goes down by the head the water will spill over the tops of the bulkheads at E deck from one to the next, back-to-back. There’s no stopping it.” he explained.

“The pumps.” captain suggested. “We open the pumps—”

“The pumps buy you time,” Andrews cut in “but minutes only. From this moment, no matter what we do Titanic will founder.”

“But this ship can’t sink!” protested Ismay.

“She’s made of iron, sir.” Andrews shot back. “I assure, she can. And she will. It is a mathematical certainty.”

“How much time?” asked captain.

Mr. Andrews did calculations in his head before answering. “An hour. Two, at most.”

They all gulped, distraught learning the news.

“And how many aboard, Mr. Murdoch?” captain questioned.

“Two thousand and two hundred souls on board, sir.” answered Murdoch.

Captain was deep in thoughts. He was probably remembering his conversation with Mr. Ismay the day prior about increasing the speed. Mr. Ismay said it would make headlines if they arrived on Tuesday evening instead of Wednesday morning and surprise them all.

“Well, I believe you may get your headlines, Mr. Ismay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves! First chapter of 2021, yay! I wish you all a happy new year!! I hope you're all well and healthy and that you will enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I just wanted to inform you that we don't have many chapters left in this book ;( Leave me your thoughts and brace yourselves for the big finale xoxo ♥


	14. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

After giving orders to his officers, the captain found himself in the marconi room giving out orders for the distress call to radio operators Jack Phillips and Harold Bride.

“CQD?” questioned Phillips. “Sir?” he questioned again when he didn’t get an answer.

“That’s right, CQD, the distress call.” Captain confirmed. “That’s our position.” he handed him a paper. “Tell whoever responds that we’re going down by the head and need immediate assistance.” and with that he left.

“Blimey!” breathed Phillips and got on work immediately.

Out on the boat deck officers and seamen were up and about preparing lifeboats.

“Keep lowering!” someone shouted.

“Steady! Make it taut! And winch out!” Joseph Boxhall, the fourth officer, shouted out instructions while also assisting to prepare a lifeboat.

Mr. Andrews came down the stairs.

“Uncover this boat! Uncover all the boats aft!” more orders had been shouted.

Thomas Andrews looked around to check the situation.

“Release those ties!”

“Roll back that cover! Smartly now!” Wilde ordered.

“Wilde!” Mr. Andrews shouted and approached him. “Mr. Wilde, where are the passengers?”

“They’ve all gone back inside. Too damn cold and noisy for them.” Wilde shouted his response to overpower the noise from the funnels. “You there!” he blew his whistle at someone. “Get down here and help with these lines!”

Mr. Andrews turned around and checked his pocket watch. The time is running out.

Back in marconi room, Phillips was having hard luck. Seeing that, his mate Harold Bride approached him.

“Maybe we should try that new distress call, SOS.” he proposed.

Phillips looked at him in confusion at first, but smiled shortly after.

“It may be your last chance to send it.” Bride added, smiling as well.

Phillips got back on work again.

Mr. Andrews walked distraught through a la carte restaurant looking at unaffected crowd. They were sitting and dinning like nothing was happening. And on top of that, the band was still casually playing.

“Care for a drink, sir?” a waiter approached him, carrying a tray of beverages.

He couldn’t believe how nonchalantly everyone behaved.

“Please, put your lifebelts on.” he turned around and spotted a steward helping out unassisted passengers.

“Hey, sonny, what’s doing?” a woman stopped that same steward. “You got us all trussed up here and now we’re cooling our heels.”

“Sorry, ma’am. Let me go find out.” he was rather clumsy for he slipped as he climbed up the stairs.

“I don’t think anybody knows what the hell’s going on around here.” the woman commented.

Elaine knew that woman. It was Margaret Brown, better known as Molly Brown. They have dined once together at the same table and never again because Elizabeth wasn’t so fond of her. She didn’t find her stories amusing. On the other hand, Elaine respected the woman very much. She was what they called new money.

They were all positioned by the grand staircase and waited for further instructions. Elaine could tell that both of her parents were growing impatient.

“Go back and turn the heaters on in our rooms. I’d like a cup of tea when I return.” Elizabeth said to her maid, Lily.

“Yes, ma’am.” the poor girl replied and went to see to it.

That’s when Estella made her grand entrance. Now everyone was looking at her the way they were looking at Elaine half an hour ago.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up.” Elizabeth said, adjusting her gloves. Kenneth had an unreadable face expression.

“Mother. Father.”

“Where have you been, young lady?”

“I-“

“Estella! Over here!”

Estella immediately looked at Elaine in the corner who was calling out for her. But Elizabeth still awaited her answer.

“I’m sorry.” was all Estella mustered before heading towards her brother and sister.

Elizabeth wanted to go after her, but Kenneth stopped her for the better. They shouldn’t make a scene in front of everybody.

“Are you alright?” Elaine asked.

“What do you think?” Estella spat.

Back there are we, Elaine thought. She didn’t pursue further conversation. It was when she noticed Mr. Andrews.

“Mr. Andrews!” she called and went after him. “I saw the iceberg. And I see it in your eyes. Please, tell me the truth.”

“The ship will sink.” Mr. Andrews simply said.

Elaine’s mouth hung open. “You’re certain?”

“Yes. In an hour or so, all this will be at the bottom of Atlantic.”

“What?” it was Philip’s voice.

“Please, tell only who you must. I don’t want to be responsible for a panic. And get to a boat, quickly. Don’t wait. You know there are boats for about half the passengers?”

“Yes.” Elaine nodded her head, trying to stay calm. “I understand.”

“Yes, madam, please, put it on immediately.” Elaine spaced out learning the news, but still heard muffled voices in the background.

She turned around and was met with her family all gathered up around them. They all had the same distraught face expression. Philip stood closest to her and hugged her tight.

“Oh, Elaine, it’s gonna be alright. It’s all gonna be alright.” he kissed her temple.

Somehow Elaine didn’t believe him. She broke away from his embrace and looked at all of them.

“We should go outside. Get a boat. Quickly.” she started organizing them. “C’mon.”

After hearing what Thomas Andrews had to say they didn’t protest much and headed towards the exit. Only Estella hung behind.

“Estella, are you coming?”

She remained silent.

“Estella, please, we are sisters. Do you want me to beg you—”

“I’m coming, I’m coming. Just shut up.” she cut her and walked past her.

Elaine let out a deep breath.

“Sir!” it was Harold Bride running after the captain. “Carpathia said they’re making 17 knots. Full steam for them, sir.”

“She’s the only one who’s responding?” captain asked.

“The only one close, sir.” Bride responded. “Says they can be here in four hours.”

“Four hours?!” captain snapped, but quickly composed himself. He nodded his head and dismissed him. “Thank you, Bride.”

When he was completely alone, he let his concerns get to him. “My God.”

He was soon wandering around the boat deck seeing how the preparations were going. That’s when Charles Lightoller spotted and approached him.

“We are swung out and ready, sir.” he informed him. Captain Smith just dubiously looked at him and then around. “Hadn’t we better get the women and children into the boats first, sir?” Lightoller shouted in his ear.

Smith was lightly nodding his head. “Yes.” he said, but it was unheard due to loud funnels.

“Sir?!” Lightoller asked again.

“Women and children first, yes.” Captain repeated, this time louder.

“Yes, sir!” he looked at Wilde who was beside him and they went to see to it.

“Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please!” Lightoller roared against the noise. “Step this way, please! That’s right! Come towards me!” he was calling to the crowd. “Thank you. Good. For the time being I shall require only women and children.”

While he was giving further instructions, the band from the dining room moved out on the boat deck not so far away.

“Gentlemen, please.”

“Right here.” they positioned themselves.

“All right, boys. Like the captain said, nice and cheery, so there’s no panic.” one of them said. “Wedding dance.” and then they started playing.

“Lower it away, left and right together! Steady!” on the starboard side William Murdoch was lowering the first lifeboat with the help of Harold Lowe. “Both sides together! Steady! Steady! Steady!”

“Stop, stop, stop!” the passengers screamed when the boat started to get lowered unevenly.

“Stop! Hold the left side!” William ordered. “Right side only, right side only!” he repeated. “Hold the left, right side down! Now, lower away together! Steady, lads!”

The first lifeboat was launched successfully alongside with one of many distress flares.

Badours were outside on the boat deck, waiting for their turn to board a lifeboat.

“Come on, sister, you heard the man. Into the boat.” Margaret Brown was also with them and assisting a woman beside her.

Elaine watched women crying and parting with their husbands. Some of them had to be tear apart from their lovers embrace.

“Oh God, there’s no way I’m boarding the same boat as this woman.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes and turned towards her kids and husband. “She’s vulgar like a commoner.”

“Oh, mother, shut up.” Elaine has had it. “Don’t you understand?!” she grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. “The water is freezing and there aren’t enough boats! Not enough by half. Half the people on this ship are going to die. And you want to choose your companions? You should be ashamed, mother.”

“Come on, Elizabeth, get in the boat.” it was Molly Brown calling to her. “First class seats are right up here.” and with her assistance she boarded the boat.

“Come on, Estella, darling. There’s plenty of room for you.” Molly called again. “Come on, Estella. You’re next, darling.”

“Come into the boat, Estella.” Elizabeth said more sternly, but reached to help her board.

Estella just stared at them.

“Come on, Stel.” Philip encouraged her, pushing her forward.

“Estella.” Elizabeth warned. “Get into the boat!”

She instead started backing away.

“Estella?”

“Goodbye, mother. Father. Philip.” she looked at each of them. “Elaine.” she finally said before she started running away.

“Estella!” their mother called. “Estella, come back here! Elaine, do something! Philip!”

They started preparing for lowering away the boat.

“No, wait! Kenneth!”

“And lower away!” the order was given out.

“Estella! Please, stop! My children!” Elizabeth was still calling.

“Lower together! Hold the left side!”

Philip and Elaine went after their sister right away.

“Estella! Come back here! No, where are you going?!” Elaine caught up with her first.

“I can’t-I can’t leave without him, I’m sorry.” she said sobbing.

“Don’t worry, sis, we’ll find him and I will get into a boat with him. Don’t worry.” Philip said to try and reassure her.

Elaine’s eyes were all over the place holding her sister close and her mind was racing. “She’s not talking about Edward.” she whispered. “She’s not talking about Edward, Philip.” she repeated, louder this time.

“Wha-What? Then who?!” he was confused.

Elaine had no time for explaining.

“Come on, we need to catch another boat.”


	15. CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Another distress flare exploded in the air. Mr. Ismay was twirling around the boat deck and as the rocket exploded, something inside of him snapped.

“For God’s sake, hurry!” he panicked. “There’s no time to waste!” he ran down the boat deck, pushing passengers out of his way to a lifeboat’s ropes. “Lower away! Lower away! Lower away!” he repeatedly shouted.

“Hey, get out of the way you fool!” it was Harold who was around that tore him away from the ropes. “Do you want me to drown the lot of them?!”

“Do you know who I am?!” Ismay protested.

“You are a passenger and I am a ship bloody officer! Now do as you’re told!” Harold told him off and got back on helping his other shipmates.

“He is quite right.” Ismay whispered. “Sorry, I—” but Harold had no time to spare anymore. Third officer Pitman charged him with loading lifeboat No. 5.

On the other end, Mr. Andrews was showing to the captain and Mr. Wilde lifeboat No.6 which was rowing away.

“There.” he pointed out.

Mr. Wilde blew his whistle.

“Come back! Come back to the ship!” captain said into his loudspeaker. “Boat 6! Come back to the ship!”

Wilde blew his whistle again.

“This is the captain! This is the captain!” he repeated. “Come back to the ship!” both him and Wilde waved their arms, but it was hopeless.

He put down his loud speaker and whispered “The fools.” He was feeling more and more helpless.

Badour siblings actually found themselves in the gymnasium with other first-class passengers because Estella was so destressed, she couldn’t go on. She was sitting down with Elaine beside her still sobbing every now and then while Philip was pacing before them.

“You know what?!” he snapped. “While we waste precious time sitting here you might as well explain this charade you created.”

“So it’s my fault Titanic hit an iceberg and is sinking now?” Elaine snapped back.

“Don’t play smart with me.”

“Then you shouldn’t accuse me of things you know nothing about.”

“I asked you to explain.”

“You didn’t have to be rude about it.”

“Stop it, you two!” Estella cried.

They both remained silent and looked the other way.

“I’m sorry.” Philip was first to apologize.

“Yeah, me too.” Elaine followed. “It’s not my place to tell you Estella’s personal things.” she said after a while. “She can tell you if she wants to.”

Right in that moment, the door flew open and Edward walked in. He looked relieved when he saw them.

“Oh my God, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” he said once he approached them. “Is everyone alright?”

“Yeah, we’re fine. Where have you been?” asked Philip.

“I had to get some belongings from my room then I ran into Kenneth and he told me what happened. I promised him I’d find you and get you on the boat.” he looked at all of them.

“Where is father now?” asked Elaine.

“I wouldn’t know.”

“We have to get going if we want to get a chance to survive. Come on, Estella.” Elaine helped her get up, and luckily, she didn’t protest, but nodded her head.

Edward looked at her, but she avoided his eyes. You could tell he had real feelings for her and was hurt. But he put all of that aside, the main thing is to get them out of this alive.

“Will you hold the boat a moment?” a lady asked Lightoller. “I just have to run back to my room—” instead of answering her, he grabbed her and put her in the boat.

“Sit down!” he ordered. “She’s the last. Prepare to lower.” he said to seamen.

“Mr. Lightoller!” Mr. Andrews was coming from the sea of people calling for him. “Why are the boats being launched half full?” he demanded to know.

“Not now, Mr. Andrews.” Lightoller replied.

“There, look!” he pointed behind. “Twenty or so in a boat built to sixty-five? And I saw one boat with only twelve! Twelve!”

“Well, we weren’t sure of the weight, Mr. Andrews. These boats may buckle.” Charles said in defense.

“Rubbish!” shouted Andrews. “They were tested in Belfast with the weight of 70 men. Now, fill these boats, Mr. Lightoller! For God’s sake man!”

Charles Lightoller gulped and looked around him, breathing heavily.

“Please, I need more women and children, please!” he finally said.

On the port side of the ship, Harold was loading boats with his best mate, James. They were working as fast as they could, but each time they turned to place a passenger in a boat it seemed like more appeared on deck. That awoke distress in both of them, knowing they could not help every one of them.

“Elaine was looking for you earlier tonight.” James said.

“What? What did she want?” he asked, helping passengers in between.

“To talk.” the other boy shrugged.

“So what happened? Why didn’t she?”

“You were off duty. She tried to get to your room, but was held back. Wilde was leading her back when she saw me and asked me to help, but I…”

“But you what?!” Harold yelled.

“I wanted to, but I-I-I couldn’t… We had a meeting in the chart room.”

“Why are you telling me this now? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” he let it get to him and grabbed the other boy by the shoulders.

“We hit an iceberg, Harold!” James raised his voice.

The two young men just stared into each other. Finally, Harold’s grip around James’ shoulders loosened and he let his arms fall to his sides.

“Right. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

James nodded his head. “It’s alright, I don’t blame you. I’m sorry too.”

“Have you seen her?” Harold tried to stay focused and help passengers in need, but there was pain in his voice.

“Not since then, no.”

Harold didn’t say anything, but this information only made it worse for him, thinking about their last conversation. She is a 1st class woman; her chances of survival are high. Still, the thought that it would probably be her last memory of him was obnoxious to him, if he doesn’t survive and make things right with her. She could already be in one of the boats that were already lowered. But then again, not every woman will make it out alive from here.

“I’m sure she’s already in a lifeboat.” James voiced his thoughts.

“Possibly.” agreed Harold.

He wanted to believe it, but then again, he couldn’t. He had to see it to believe it.

“Listen, even if she isn’t, I’ll make sure to find her and put her in a lifeboat.” James looked at him intensively, waiting for an answer, but he avoided his eyes and kept busy loading the boat. “Harold, I promise you that.”

Finally, he glanced at him. Without saying anything he just nodded his head.

Once they were out on the boat deck again, Elaine realized how drastically the situation changed each second. It was a riot. They had to push their way in order to get to the lifeboats.

“Come, over here. I see one.” Edward was leading them.

“Keep order! Keep order here!” Estella’s ears recognized Lightoller’s shouts. “Back! Back! Back!” he was saying to men who were trying to go past and climb a boat.

All of a sudden, someone pushed a woman overboard, but luckily, she held onto a boat. Charles quickly turned to follow the situation.

“Hold onto her!” he shouted. “Pull her in!”

The woman was saved by other passengers and was back on board.

“Get back, I say, or I’ll shoot you all like dogs!” suddenly Charles roared and pulled out his revolver, pointing at the herd of men. “Keep order here! Keep order, I say.” he demanded.

Men withdrew in fear not letting a single sound out anymore. But a few cries caught their attention.

“Charles! Charles!” it was Estella, making her way towards him.

“Miss, this boat is full, you’ll have to find another one.” he said to her.

“Charles, it’s me,” she cried. “Let’s get another boat and leave.”

“Don’t be foolish, miss, I have my duty to do. Lower this boat away!” he turned away, not giving her a second glance.

She fell to her knees, ugly sobbing. All this was painful for Elaine to watch. She came to her side, trying to pick her up.

“Please, Estella, stand up.”

Estella was murmuring something, but it was incomprehensible due to her sobbing. Elaine looked back at Edward and Philip pleadingly. Philip stepped forward and force pulled his sister up.

“Come on, Stel, come on. It’s not worth it.” he shushed her.

Edward lingered behind them while they were walking away, finding another boat. Philip looked at Elaine and they understood each other perfectly. He began to realize what was really going on.

Harold and James worked as fast as they could, but the situation was getting out of control more and more. Titanic was sinking faster and faster. The passengers were panicking, screaming and crying. Some of them were throwing themselves overboard.

“This is getting out of hand.” James said.

Harold agreed, but had no time to answer him verbally.

“This group of boats should have an officer with them.” James proceeded.

“No. 14 is almost ready, you should get on—” he didn’t get to finish because things were getting more and more precarious and before he knew it, a herd of passengers tried to get past them and onto the boat.

“Get back! Stay back!” they both were shouting, keeping them back.

“Mr. Moody, get onto the boat!” Harold shouted.

“No, Mr. Lowe, you should.” James replied.

“Mr. Moody, this ain’t time for games! Save yourself man!”

“You are my superior officer, Harold.” he tried to reason.

“As your superior officer you should listen to me!”

Harold had a point, but James wanted to stay and help as much as he could.

“I’ll get on another one. Think of Elaine, Harold, she’ll be waiting for you in some of the boats.”

He didn’t argue further, but hopped onto the boat.

“Right. Is everybody all right? Nobody panic.” he said to the passengers before he gave permission to lower away. “Sit down.” he said to some passengers who tried to move.

As lifeboat was descending, people from below deck tried to leap onto the boat, but seamen pushed them away with battens. Harold pulled out his revolver and pointed.

“Stay back, you lot!” he threatened. “Just stay back, the lot of you! Stay back!” he was shouting repeatedly, waving his gun. “Stay back!” he fired three shots into the air.

Elaine heard the gun shots. She twirled around before she saw a familiar face again.

“Will the men please hold back! Hold back, I say!” another few shots were fired. “Women and children only! Get back!”

“James! James!” she ran towards him.

“Elaine! What are you still doing here? Get into the boat immediately!”

She looked around. She knew how close Harold and him are and she haven’t seen him since afternoon.

“James, where is Harold?” she asked quietly.

“He’s gone. Get into the boat now, please.” he said helping another passenger.

“Gone?!” she shouted. “What do you mean gone?! Is he dead gone or--?”

“Give her to me.” James took a child from her father.

“James, I’m not going anywhere until you give me an answer!”

“I’m so sorry, Elaine. I made him a promise to get you on a boat so now please do so!” he said this a bit more sternly as he was losing his patience as well.

“Yes, Elaine, get into the boat.” it was someone else’s voice.

She turned around to see William with his mother Charlotte.

“Come through, madame. This way. Step back, sir.” James said taking her by the arms and pushing William back, but he just kept smirking at Elaine.

“You can’t tell me what to do. You don’t own me.” Elaine said, disgusted.

“No, not yet. That’s why I want my future wife to be well and alive.”

“What makes you think I’d marry you?”

“I don’t think you’d have much choice, my dear. Your father’s new company in New York needs investment and after that _little_ scandal your sister made, I doubt there will be any wedding happening. And you still want to have nice things in life, don’t you, Elaine?” he looked at her more intensively and smirked.

She just kept staring back at him.

“You, unimaginable bastard.” she finally mustered.

“Come on, Elaine, your sister is already in the boat.” it was Charlotte’s voice.

She turned to see Estella seated with a blanket around her. She turned back to look at Philip and Edward, who she would have to leave behind. He hugged Philip tight.

“Come on, hurry. They’re almost full.” said Philip.

“See you on the other side.” she said before parting with him.

She looked at James who took her by the hand.

“Come on, step aboard, Elaine.”

She found a seat beside her sister.

“And lower away!”

She and James looked at each other again. She still didn’t get an answer to her question and she couldn’t read it from his eyes which alarmed her even more. She would have to wait for tomorrow to see if her greatest fears are confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this terrible chapter, but I just can't wait to finish this so I can start my other fic 😭 I promise I'll try to do better xx ♥


	16. CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Edward and Philip watched the lifeboat descend.

“I didn’t know, Edward. I’m so sorry.” Philip said.

“What could you do, it’s not your fault.” Ed shrugged.

“I could’ve noticed! I should’ve… done something. Dammit.”

“Well yeah, maybe I should’ve confronted her more.” he breathed. “What’s done is done. It’s like this night, there’s no going back from this. Titanic will sink and we—”

His speech was interrupted by screams coming from below. Both him and Philip leaned over the railing to see what has happened. It was Estella who jumped out of the boat and Elaine was preparing to do the same.

“No, Elaine, stay in the boat!” shouted Philip.

Elaine looked around herself in distress and then back at her brother.

“I can’t, she’s my sister!”

She jumped after her sister, but unfortunately for her, she wasn’t so precise like her sister, who was already pulled onboard, and slipped. She screamed, barely holding onto the railing.

“Elaine!” Philip screamed before he ran to find his sisters.

When Elaine was onboard again, she didn’t know which way Estella went. She ignored all questions coming from worried passengers and started running up the deck. She didn’t know where she was going, but she didn’t have much of a choice. Only way out was up.

She met with Philip near the grand staircase. He took her by the shoulders and shook her, but in a gentle brotherly way. He was feeling all kinds of the emotions. He was so angry, he wanted to yell and scold her, yet so worried he just wanted to hug her and take her to safety again.

“You’re so stupid, Elaine! Why’d you do?!” he said with tears in his eyes.

“She’s my sister…” Elaine sobbed.

“She’s not just your sister! She’s my sister as well!”

“I can’t leave without her…” she was choking on her tears.

“If I couldn’t save both of you, at least I could’ve saved one! Don’t you wanna live, Elaine?! Hm?!”

“Philip!” she shouted and her voice cracked. “Either we go together or not at all.” she looked him in the eyes. “I can understand that you’ll have to wait for your turn,” her eyes filled with tears again, knowing how much of a chance he actually got “but I need her. I need someone of my own with me.”

Philip’s heart was breaking. He pulled her in a hug, closing his eyes and letting hot tears roll down his cheeks. He squeezed her tight and rubbed her back.

“I love you so much,” he murmured into her hair.

Elaine took a sharp breath in before saying “I love you, too.”

They gave themselves a freedom to steal these couple of moments, but they had no time to waste anymore. Philip was first to pull back.

“Tell me, did something happened before she jumped out?”

She frowned, thinking.

“Yes, actually. She was chanting something incomprehensible under her breath. I asked her if she’s alright and she just looked at me before she… did what she did.”

Philip nodded his head. “Do you know where she might’ve gone?”

“I didn’t see in which direction she ran off, but there’s only much places she could be.” she sniffed.

“I’ll look for her.” Edward came from behind Philip.

“No, I will. You get Elaine—"

“You heard your other sister, Philip. She needs you now, you two need to stick together. Let me go find her.”

“Alright,” he answered, heavy heartedly. “Come, Elaine.” he took her by the hand.

Out on deck, things are becoming more and more chaotic. Almost all of the lifeboats were going and now they were preparing to launch the collapsibles. On the starboard side, Wilde, Moody and Murdoch were preparing to launch Collapsible A.

“Get those oars in place. Get an oar under it.” Wilde shouted out the orders.

“Hold it. Hold it. Hold it!”

William Murdoch jumped from the top. He looked down the passage and saw water rising fast.

“Get these davits cranked in! Let’s get the falls hooked up!” he rushed to help and prepare the boat.

“Stop pushing! Stay back!” William was shouting at any man who tried to get in the way. “I’ll shoot any man who tries to get past me! Get back! Get back!” he repeated more sternly.

“Women and children only!” Wilde yelled.

Officers could no longer hold back the crowd for some of the men went around them which led shots to be fired.

“Now stand back, damn you!” Wilde warned.

Harold Bride rushed and stumbled to get to the Marconi room where he found his mate still working hard.

“The boat decks are wash.” he said, but was ignored. “Come on, let’s clear out! We’ve done our duty!” still, no response. “Come on if you want to be saved, for Christ’s sake!” he screamed.

“I’m not going!” Jack Philips finally replied.

Bride twirled around in frustration. Finally, he took the lifebelt he brought with him and put it over Jack’s head.

“You’re mad.” he commented while doing so.

Jack was annoyed, but appreciated the gesture and concern. They said their farewells before Bride left the room.

Edward was ready to give up looking for his fiancée and try to save himself when he heard muffled sobs. Technically, she was still his fiancée for they have never officially broke off the engagement and she was still wearing his ring. He looked around, following the sounds of sniffling.

“There you are.” he said in the most sympathetic way he could.

He found her curled up on the floor in the corner. Tears were streaming down her face. She didn’t seem to notice him or if she did, she was ignoring him. She stared right ahead of her, but wasn’t looking at anything in particular. Edward took a deep breath and kneeled down in front of here.

“Estella, we need to go,” he said calmly.

“Go away. Leave me alone.” her voice was shaky.

He frowned, thinking of what he could tell her. He knew he needed to convince her somehow.

“I… I’m not doing this for myself.” he started. “I’m doing this because of your parents and your brother and sister. You did a stupid thing, Estella, jumping out of that boat. You almost costed Elaine her life!”

She finally acknowledged him.

“She jumped right after you. Because she loves you. Because she wants you to be safe. Because she needs her big sister with her, Estella.” he looked intensively into her eyes.

“But why? I ruined everything…” she leaned her head back on the wall. “I have nowhere to go.”

Edward’s attention was caught with the water coming from under the door. He needed to get them out of there fast.

“Don’t be silly. You had a few minor fall outs, sibling stuff, it’s all forgotten.”

“I cheated on you, Edward!” she screamed in the empty room. “With a married man, no less!” she burst into tears again. “I was so jealous and greedy at Elaine that I didn’t want to believe it, but now—” she choked.

The room was filling with water faster and faster. He needed to try a different method.

“Estella, stop thinking of your selfish ways and think of your family. What would you rather, give them eternal grief and guilt if you don’t get up and save yourself or die here like coward?” he took her by the shoulders and shook her. “You wanted to achieve something in life, didn’t you? To be known?” she nodded her head. “Then you can’t do that if you die here tonight.”

“They would disown me.” she said, now sitting in the water. “If they knew. They would disown me.”

Edward run a hand down his face and hair. Water was up to his ankles. Estella was a sad scene before him. He decided to sit next to her.

“They don’t know. And I’m ready to forgive you, if you want to. If not, we still have time to think of something why we decided to split up.”

“Can I ask you something?” she didn’t wait for his answer. “Why are you so good to me?”

The question caught him off guard. He let out a nervous laugh.

“I… don’t know. You are not a bad person, Estella. You are just… misunderstood.” he somewhat gave her an answer, but couldn’t do it justice for there was no particular reason. Except that, maybe, he was still in love with her.

“Hm.” was all she said after.

They were now sitting in the waist high water in silence listening to growling and creaking of the ship every now and then.

“Hey, is it after midnight?” suddenly she asked, breaking the silence.

“Yes, why?” he chuckled for no reason at all.

“Happy birthday, Edward.”

On the way out on the boat deck again, Elaine spotted a familiar figure.

“Wait, wait, wait.” she pulled Philip back. “Mr. Andrews!”

“Oh, Elaine.”

“Won’t you even make a try for it?” she approached him.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t build you a stronger ship, young Elaine.”

The ship creaked.

“It’s going fast. We have to move.” Philip took Elaine by the hand again and pulled her.

“Wait.” Mr. Andrews stopped them. “Good luck to you, Elaine. To both of you.” he looked at them with teary eyes.

“And to you.” Elaine blinked away the tears and hugged him, before Philip rushed her again.

On the port side, Lightoller was responsible for launching Collapsible B.

“Gently, gently. Hold it. Hold it.” he shouted.

Their attempt was unsuccessful and the boat broke through the ramp and landed upside-down on the deck.

“Get the falls over here now!” Lightoller ordered. “Let them drop. Then we’ll right it.”

But there was no time to right it. Titanic was reaching her final moments.


	17. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Captain Smith was present on the boat deck all the time, doing everything in his power to prevent panic and help as many women and children as he could. He was there to supervise that the lifeboats were lowered properly, but as the last moments were approaching, he began to grasp the enormity of what was about to happen, that his last command will, indeed, founder. He found himself paralyzed, twirling indecisively, looking at the mess around him. Water was rising more and more, and Titanic was sinking faster and faster.

“Capitén?” a woman, carrying a child in her arms, approached him. “Capitén, where should I go? Please.” she was obviously a foreigner, considering her thick accent.

Edward John Smith couldn’t find himself to help her. He himself didn’t even know what he should do anymore. Even if he did, he was aware of the fact that he could not save all of them. But one thing was certain. He will go down with his ship.

In his 40 years of experience at sea, including 27 years in command, this was the first crisis of his career. From that moment on, he failed to order his officers and crew. Instead, he went on releasing them from their duties, carrying out his final tour of the deck.

“Now it’s every man for himself!” he yelled.

Steward Edward Brown saw him approach with a megaphone in his hand.

“Well boys, do your best for the women and children, and look out for yourselves!” then the Captain headed for the bridge alone.

“Captain!” one of his crew members shouted after him. “Captain. Sir.” he offered him a lifebelt, but Captain just sympathetically smiled at him.

He took one last glance behind him and shouted “Be British boys, be British!” before he sank from everyone’s sight.

The musicians of the RMS Titanic were still outside playing as the ship settled quietly lower and lower in the sea. After finishing their last piece, they decided to call it quits, seeing that the situation is soon coming to an end.

“Right. That’s it, then.” the violinist said.

“Goodbye, Wally. Good luck.” his mate said before parting with him.

“Goodbye, Wallace.”

“So long, old chap.”

They said their farewells, leaving Wallace Hartley to start playing _Nearer My God to Thee_ alone. Hearing the first tunes, his fellow band mates returned to their previous spots, supporting him in what will be the last piece they have played together.

Water was over the bridge and was coming more and more. Titanic was taking her final plunge.

“There’s no time!” shouted officer Wilde. “Cut those falls! Cut them! Cut them if you have to!”

“I need a knife!” someone shouted.

“Cut the falls now!” water was already around the boat and they needed to release it immediately. “Cut them loose!”

“Cut those bloody falls!” Wilde desperately shouted, now being completely into the water.

Everyone was screaming, fighting. Fighting each other, fighting to survive. Situation was chaotic.

“Gentlemen,” Wallace said. “it has been a privilege playing with you tonight.”

Bursting out on the boat deck, Elaine and Philip saw the chaos that unfolded. It was a stampede of people, running towards the only safe place that was left of the ship, the stern. And they saw why. All the lifeboats were gone and the bow was completely under water. Elaine turned desperately towards her brother.

“We have to stay on the ship as long as possible.” he said, seeing Elaine’s look in her eyes. “Come on!” he grabbed her hand and pulled her forward, pushing their way through.

“This way. Through the rail.” he was the first one to go over it, helping his sister to do the same. “Come on, El. Jump.” he said, holding onto her.

They jumped together, but Elaine slipped and fell.

“Philip!” she shouted, losing a sight of him for a moment.

“I’ve got you. Come on.” he was quick to pick her up. “Give me your hand. Let’s go, we have to move.”

That’s when the firs funnel fell. Elaine gripped on his arm tighter. He turned to look at her. That’s when the lights started going on and off.

“Come on.” he hissed, but she knew he was thinking the same.

Where are Estella and Edward? Did he even find her? What about their father? They didn’t see neither of them in a while. They feared it was only the two of them and the end was near, but they could not possibly be sure they will make it.

“Come on, up the stairs.” he pushed her forward, since it gotten even more crowded, not to lose the sight of her.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death—” someone was praying.

“You better walk a little faster through that valley there.” Philip was on the verge of patience.

Titanic rose 30 degrees above water. Passengers was falling of the stern, some of them purposely jumped, some of them were pushed. However, they no longer had power to hold on. Some of them even went rolling down the deck into the water.

“Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. Hail Mary, full of grace…” father had a group of people holding onto him and recited his prayers.

“This way.” Philip pulled Elaine. “Come on. Come on!” the reached the railing of the stern. They had nowhere else to go now.

“And I saw a new heaven and a new earth for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away and there was no more sea.” Elaine could still hear the father preaching.

She screamed, feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the people. She was holding onto her big brother while he was holding onto the railing. She looked around, distressed herself, at the distressed passengers.

“It’ll be over soon. It’ll be over soon.” she saw a mother, chanting to her baby boy. She would probably be hysterically crying if it wasn’t for her child she was trying to comfort.

“And He shall dwell with them. And they shall be His people and God Himself shall be with them and be their God.” she caught a bit more of preaching.

Turning around, she saw a girl her age or so shivering beside her. She gave her a sympathetic, encouraging smile. It was the best she could do in this moment.

“I love you, Philip. I’m so sorry I don’t show it too often, but I feel like I might not get the chance to—" she said shakily, grabbing his attention.

“Shut up, Elaine!” he cut her off. “We are going to make it. We are going to live to tell the tale to our children. And everyone will be fine. Mother is waiting for us in the life boat, father probably got into one as well. Our sister is here somewhere, and Edward. Or they were just quicker than us and got into the last lifeboat. Everyone is fine, Elaine. I need you to believe this.” he was creating a story both him and her wanted to believe. But what were the actual chances of it to be a reality?

“And God shall wipe away all the tears from their eyes and there shall be no more death. Neither shall there be sorrow or crying. Neither shall there be any more pain for the former world has passed away.”

“Do you believe me, Elaine, do you?” he was desperate for her to believe him in order for him to believe it himself.

“I believe you.”

Back in her lifeboat, Elizabeth was watching the scenery before her in disbelief. Hot tears were dried by the cold night air on her cheeks.

“God Almighty.” Margaret Brown said. “This is something you don’t see every day.”

Elizabeth thought the last part was unnecessary. They shouldn’t be even seeing it tonight. But it happened. Although, she now admired Mrs. Brown for she was persistent to go back and help others, but Robert Hitchens told her off, and she didn’t want to intervene herself.

She couldn’t help, but wonder what happened to her husband, to her children? Are they in one of the lifeboats around? What if they were still on that ship? God forbids! She closed her eyes and started praying under her breath.


	18. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Most of the engineering crew remained below decks in the engine and boiler rooms fighting a losing battle to keep the ship afloat for as long as possible operating the pumps in the forward compartments as well as keeping the steam up in the boiler rooms, so as to prevent boiler explosion on contact with water. Others keeping the generators running to maintain power and lights throughout the Titanic up.

“Keep those breakers in! Keep them in!”

Then, a great noise followed. It was partly a groan, partly a rattle and partly a smash. It went on successively for some seconds, possibly fifteen or twenty. After another minute, the ship’s lights flickered once and then permanently went out, plunging Titanic into darkness. Groups of fifteen hundred people were still aboard, clinging in clusters or bunches, like swarming bees only to fall in masses, pairs or singly as the great afterpart of the ship rose into the sky.

“Hold on real tight.” said Philip, clutching onto Elaine.

The great noise increased to its maximum volume. It sounded like breaking noises. Then the stern splashed back into the water followed by screaming of the passengers. But soon after, it started rising up again.

“We have to move!” shouted Philip, realizing the end is near.

He climbed over the fence. “Give me your hand, I’ll pull you over.”

“I can’t.” panted Elaine, barely holding on.

“Come on! Give me your hand.” she obeyed, and he pulled her with all his might. “I’ve got you. I won’t let go. Come on, I’ve got you.”

Elaine grunted, but successfully climbed over.

“What’s happening, Philip?!” she said in panicked voice.

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” replied he, panicked as well.

The stern now fully rose, standing still.

“Philip…”

“Hold on, just hold on.”

It bobbed like that there for a few seconds, then it started going down, followed by cricking noises.

“This is it!” Philip realized.

“No! Oh, my God, Philip! Oh, God! Oh, God!” Elaine cried, starting to lose it.

“Try to stay calm, Elaine, and hold on!”

“Calm?!” she screamed. “We are going to die!”

That wasn’t the right thing to say in the moment, surrounded by equally panicked passengers, but she stated the obvious. The stern sunk faster and faster as it reached its end.

“You can’t think like that!”

“No, huh?!”

Philip couldn’t lose her now, he needed to think of something.

“This is not the end, Elaine! Just another tiny obstacle, alright?! But the ship is gonna suck us down, that is inevitable. Take a deep breath when I tell you.” she nodded her head, listening. “Kick for the surface and keep kicking. Give me your hand. Do not let go of it! Understand?” she nodded again, focused on what’s about to come. “We’re gonna make it, sis. We’re gonna make it! Trust me.”

“I trust you, brother!” she shouted. Philip smiled looking at her, tears forming into his eyes.

“Ready?! Ready?!” he shouted, not letting his voice to break. “Now, Elaine!”

They both took a deep breath, going underwater. Elaine wasn’t much of a swimmer, but holding onto her brother’s hand she kicked for the surface with his help. He tried pulling her up, but the suction was too strong and dragged him away. She tried reaching for him blindly, but couldn’t feel him anywhere around. Her panic only increased when she no longer could be without air and her survival mode kicked in. She resurfaced in the sea of people splashing and shouting around her.

“Philip!” she screamed.

“Philip!” no answer.

“Philip!” her voice started breaking with no sight of him.

Survival mode kicked in other people as well. They were extremely fighting to survive now by using one another to stay afloat, without realizing they were drowning the onther person. They fought around floating objects they could hold on. Elaine swam around looking for her brother when someone got on top of her, pulling her under.

“No!” she screamed, resurfacing again and gasping for air.

But the person only pulled her down again. She kicked as hard as she could, breaking away from him.

“Get off me! Get _off_ me!” she somehow managed to kick him in the face, fully releasing herself from him.

She twirled around looking for at least any familiar face, but was only more panicked when she couldn’t recognize none.

Swim, Elaine, swim, she encouraged herself. Stay afloat and keep swimming to keep… warm.

The water was so cold. She could barely feel her body. It’s like a thousand knives stabbing into you at once. She started trembling. But kept moving until she saw a large wooden object floating nearby. She grunted, trying to get on top of it. Her first try was unsuccessful for she slipped back into the water, but she didn’t let it shake her. She tried again, this time successfully staying on it.

“Philip!” she tried calling again, but it was like no one had heard her.

She bent her head down in despair and started crying.

It’ll be alright, it’ll be alright, she started chanting under her breath and encouraging herself. He is here somewhere; he will find me. It will be alright.

She wouldn’t let dark thoughts consume her. He is a fighter, he is strong. He will fight for his life, and for her. He is probably afloat somewhere else and can’t come to her right now. She heard a whistle blow nearby.

“Return,” she recognized Henry Wilde’s voice. “the boats!” he kept blowing his whistle.

Yes! The boats will return to pick the rest of them up and they will reunite. She thought of the story he told her before the Titanic went under and kept coming back to it. She turned on her back, looking at the starry sky and smiled. Yes, that’s how it’s going to be.

“For God’s sake!” a woman cried.

“Please, help us!” a man shouted.

But it was like their voices were unheard. Elaine shivered and closed her eyes, breathing hard.

Back in the lifeboat No. 6, Molly Brown tried encouraging her crew to return to the debris field of the disaster to look for survivors again. But her attempt was once again, unsuccessful.

“You don’t understand.” Robert Hichens started. “If we go back, they’ll swamp the boat. They’ll pull us right down, I’m telling you!” his tone was not nearly pleasant.

“Oh, knock it off. You’re scaring me.” Molly gritted through her teeth. “Come on, girls, grab an oar. Let’s go.”

“Are you out of your mind?! We’re in the middle of the North Atlantic! Now, do you people want to live or do you want to die?!” Hichens protested.

His voice came off as rough, but in reality, he was just worried and scared. Molly Brown looked around her unmoved crew, hearing shouts and whistle blows in the background. The women were shivering and crying, too scared to say anything or rise and go against Robert Hichens’ word.

“I don’t understand a one of you.” she stated. “What’s the matter with you?! It’s your men out there! There’s plenty of room for more.” she shouted.

“And there’ll be one less on this boat if you don’t shut that hole in your face!” Hichens hissed, leaving her astonished.

She didn’t say anything further, but sat back down beside Elizabeth who had her hands pressed against her ears to sustain all the noise. She couldn’t bear it.

“Oh, Beth,” started Molly. “I bet your girls are fine.” she put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Elizabeth let out a deep breath. “Just my daughters. What about my son and husband?”

“They are both strong men. Fighters. All five of you will reunite on a rescue ship when it comes. But Elizabeth, even if you don’t, I want you to think of them as heroes—”

“Stop it!” she cut her off, not wanting to hear the next words. “They are all fine.” she said, sitting still, waiting and praying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guys, this is it. I'm so sorry to inform you that the next chapter will also be the last. Tell me how did you like it so far and are you ready for the big finale? ;)


	19. CHAPTER NINETEEN

Harold Lowe was in charge of lifeboat No. 14. When it reached the water, he ordered his boat to be rowed about 150 yards away. After Titanic foundered, he begun to gather several lifeboats together. He brought together his own boat with boats 10, 12 and Collapsible D.

“Now, bring in your oars over there. And tie these boats together as well.” he gave instructions. “Now, make sure that’s tied up nice and tight.”

He looked back at the site where _Titanic_ once was. He wished to return to pick up survivors, but was hesitant because he feared being swamped by hordes of people due to lack of experienced crewmen in the boat. But it was his duty to go end help those in need.

“Right, listen to me, men! We have to go back!” he started. “I want to transfer all the women from this boat into that boat right now as quick as you can, please!”

He began redistributing the survivors in the group of lifeboats he had gathered into a flotilla, in order to ready one lifeboat for a search for additional survivors.

“Let’s create some space over there. Move forward and aft.”

Suddenly, a woman rose up.

“Not too quickly, madam!” Harold stopped her.

He grabbed her by the shawl, accidentally pulling it down just to discover it wasn’t a woman at all! It was a man in disguise. His whole expression changed.

“How dare you?!” he yelled in the man’s face. “Get in there, will you?!” he pushed the man forward into another boat.

“Now, come on, this way, madam.” he said much more calmly to a woman beside him.

For that time, Elaine waited, listening to the decreasing shouts. Mr. Wilde stopped blowing his whistle some time ago. It was getting more and more quiet. Nothing was happening and the time seemed to stand still. They were probably organizing the boats. They had to do that, right? She tried to think of something positive, but her mind could only focus on how cold she was. Her whole body was in pain from shaking. Her breathing started getting heavier and heavier to that point she didn’t even have the power to inhale some air. She felt tired and sleepy. She went in and out of herself, not able to feel her body anymore. She tried to move, but it was hopeless.

Then, she just let go.

The lifeboat Harold took back to the site of the sinking had a hand-picked team of crewmen to assist in the rescue operation. They waited until the swimmers had thinned out before returning so that they would not be swamped and capsized by their numbers. He stood at the forward end of the boat with a flashlight in his hand, looking out.

“Right ahead, sir.” said seaman.

“Oars!” Harold shouted to try and get anyone’s attention. “Do you see any moving?”

“No, sir. None moving, sir.” replied one of the crew.

“Check them!” he ordered. “Bring that oar up here. Check them, make sure.”

Seamen leaned over, checking the people and moving them out of the way, but with no luck finding anyone alive.

“These are dead, sir.” one informed.

“Now, give way. Ahead easy.” Harold said. “Careful with your oar. Don’t hit them. Is there anyone alive out there?! Can anyone hear me?! Is anyone alive out there?!” he shouted, only to hear his echo.

Then he saw a sight he will never forget as long as he’s alive: a mother, clutching her baby on her chest. It was only then he realized all that waiting was unnecessary. The water was simply too cold for anyone to survive a great amount of time, let alone have the energy to swamp a lifeboat. He let himself get overwhelmed with emotions.

“We waited to long.” he sniffed, saying mostly to himself. “Well, keep checking them! Keep looking!” he composed himself again and yelled. “Is there anyone alive out there?! Can anyone hear me?!”

Finally, they found their first survivor. It was a man. They were able to pull another three man out of the water. Many more voices could be heard in the darkness, but locating them proved to be largely fruitless task, despite the efforts of the crew. They crossed the whole site when Harold’s flashlight landed on a horrible sight before him.

“Oh, my God…” he said under his breath. “Pull you, bastards, pull!” he almost screamed, obviously starting to panic. “Put your backs into it!” he grew more and more impatient.

“What is it, sir?” someone dared to ask since he didn’t see or hear anything to get their attention.

“Now, hold water! Bring her in, help her up!” he ordered, leaning himself to reach her.

“But… she’s dead, sir…” one said, holding her limp body.

“No, she ain’t!” Harold yelled. “Even if she is, I’m going to revive her. Now, pull her in, quickly!”

They placed her on the floor, Harold at her side, holding her head.

“Give me those blankets, we need to get her warm!” he said, reaching for her neck to feel her pulse. “Come on, Elaine, give me something.” his voice was breaking, vision blurry from all the tears formed in his eyes. “Don’t die on me.” he begged.

A seaman finally tossed him some blankets and he quickly wrapped it around her. He didn’t know what to do, but he started massaging her heart, feeling for her pulse every 10 seconds.

“You are not going to die. Not here and not tonight!” he gritted, aggressively pushing down on her chest.

“Sir, I think it’s hopeless—”

“I suggest you mind your own business!” he cut him off.

But then he stopped applying pressure on her heart. He no longer had the strength to do so. Overwhelmed with emotions, he cried. He didn’t even care he was sobbing in front of his crew, which depended on him to give instructions. Hovering over her, a drop of tear from his nose fell on her cheek.

That’s when she took a sharp breath in and opened her eyes for a split second.

“El, Elaine?” he said, in shaky breath.

He put his head down to hear her heart that was now _beating_. He closed his eyes letting a sigh of relief and resting his head there for a few moments, listening to not so steady beating of her heart yet.

“Oh, thank God.” he exclaimed, getting up and putting pressure on her chest once more, not willing to risk losing her again.

Finally, when her breath steadied and her heart starter beating regularly, he whipped away the tears and composed himself once again. He was ready to give order to regroup with the rest of the boats and head to meet the Carpathia.

By the morning, Elaine regained consciousness again. She was awakened by a familiar voice she couldn’t really detect, but she knew it was coming from a man waving a green light whose back she was facing.

“Put your backs into it, men!” that’s what the man was shouting.

She couldn’t quite comprehend what was going on other than that she was _fine_. She was warm and wrapped in blankets. But she felt weak and her eyelids heavy. It didn’t take long before she fell asleep again.

Elaine was awoken for a second time, hearing commotion around her. She opened her eyes, slightly blinded by the sun, reading _CARPATHIA_ before her eyes. She lifted herself up and saw people at the gangway entrance throwing out ladders and ropes. She was helped by the crewmen up the ladders where the Carpathia officers and seamen welcomed her. She looked around, recognizing all distressed familiar faces. Then it dawned on her. They survived; they were rescued. Her eyes then met with Harold’s. Neither of them was ready for it to happen. Elaine felt weak in her knees and collapsed on the woman in front of her.

“Give her to me.” he rushed to her side. “Elaine, look at me. Are you alright?”

She shook her head. She was then offered blankets that Harold wrapped around her, leading her onto the deck. He took a cup of warm coffee that was offered to them, placing it into her hands. He knew he could not hover over her all the time, but he needed to make sure she was placed somewhere nice and safe.

“She’ll need medical check-up.” he informed one of his colleague officers.

“They will all go through medical check-up, don’t worry, sir.” responded the officer.

“She was on a verge of death; she needs immediate assistance!” Harold started raising his voice, growing impatient. He didn’t care that his favoritism in Elaine showed, he had nothing to lose anymore.

“Sir, they were all on the verge of death.” the other one replied, his tone kind of warning.

Harold didn’t press further, but nodded his head in understatement. He couldn’t say he saved a dead passenger. If that information came out his career could be ruined. Especially he sorts of had a relationship with her.

After her medical check-up, Elaine was escorted to the dining room to get something to eat. It’s been twelve hours since her last meal between all that’s happened, no wonder she felt weak. When she got food in her system and felt strong enough to walk on her own, she went out on deck to look for her loved ones and it didn’t take her long before she spotted a face she knew like the back of her hand.

“Amelia!” she shouted, throwing herself to hug the poor girl who screamed, startled. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” they both cried. “I’m just so glad I finally found someone I know. Come here.” she hugged her tight.

“Miss…” Amelia felt weird and scared, but hugged her back.

“No, Amelia, no more miss.” Elaine pulled away. “You are not going back with me.”

“B-b-but, miss, I have nowhere to go—” the poor girl sobbed.

“You are not going back as my servant, Amelia. You will no longer work for me.” she began explaining.

“But what will I do?!”

“You are my friend now, Amelia. And my friends don’t work for me.”

“Miss, I really don’t mind—”

“A-a! I will find you a much nicer job once we’re in New York.” she put a finger on her lips to shush her.

“I… thank you, miss—” Elaine gave her a look. “Elaine. Thank you, Elaine.” she felt weird saying her first name.

“There!” the other girl smiled. “Now, where are mom and dad?”

Amelia led her to the two people sitting down and holding each other, covered in blankets. Elizabeth was the first one to spot Amelia towering over her.

“Oh, my God,” she rose up, hitting her husband in the chest. “Kenneth, look!” she cried when she saw Elaine, pulling her into her embrace.

“Mom!” she sobbed into her mother’s chest. She felt her father’s arms around both of them.

“My baby, my child, my daughter!” Elizabeth moved away to look at her. “How are you? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” she said, looking around. “Where are the rest of you?” she questioned, confused.

Elizabeth placed a hand over her mouth and started sobbing again. That alarmed Elaine.

“Mom,” she started, her hands beginning to shake. “Where are my siblings?”

Her mother could only shake her head.

“They made a list of survivors, we asked around, but…” it was her father who answered her.

“No!” she shouted. “That can’t be it! There has to be another list! No!” she started screaming and losing it. “This is all my fault! My fault!” she pulled on her hair.

“Shh, Elaine, calm down…” Kenneth’s heart was breaking watching his daughter like that and he pulled her into his embrace.

This all was hard for him too, but he needed to stay strong for his wife and daughter. He held Elaine until her sobs died down.

“I-I-I was with Philip before…” she chocked on her tears. “It should’ve been me….”

“Shh, don’t talk like that. Don’t stress yourself. We will have plenty of time for this later, alright, baby?” her father comforted her.

Sitting there for a while, Elaine noticed someone’s shadow over here. She moved to see who it was and rose up in relief when she recognized him.

“Edward!” she jumped to hug him.

“El, oh, my God, I'm so glad to see you!” he hugged her back tight.

“Edward, h-how are you here? Where is Estella?” she pulled away to look him up.

“Elaine, I’m so sorry I couldn’t save her.” her eyes started filling with tears again. “I-I found her, but she…” he took a deep breath, being on the verge of tears as well. “I found her and I talked to her and I convinced her to come with me, but then she—” his voice cracked. “I lost her. We went out on deck, she let go of my hand and I lost her.” he finished, sniffing.

“Oh…” Elaine leaned in for a hug of support. “Edward, I know it’s not exactly an occasion, but happy birthday.”

He smiled, whipping his cheeks. “Those were her last words said to me. Thank you, Elaine.”

“I… Edward, you know I knew.” he nodded his head affirmatively. “I should’ve acted on it sooner, I’m sorry.” she placed a hand on his arm in comforting manner.

“How could you when you found out the same night I did?” he asked, laughing to hide the pain.

“No,” she replied, careful. “I saw her leaving his room the day prior.”

Edward didn’t know what to say so he kept smiling, but not because he found anything amusing. Elaine felt so sorry for him. She hugged him again, looking over his shoulder when she saw the last person she wanted to see alive.

“You!” she shouted, heading towards him. “My sister is dead because of _you_!” she pushed him.

Charles Lightoller was taken aback. Elaine was making a scene, exposing every one of them.

“Why couldn’t you just leave us alone?! Hm?!” she banged on his chest.

Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t defend himself. Elaine was driven by anger and wasn’t aware of her strength.

“You just had to ruin it for us all, didn't you?! Well, you know what, I am going to make your life a living—”

“Elaine, that’s enough!” a pair of hands grabbed her from behind, dragging her away from him.

“No!” she kicked and screamed. “Let go of me!”

“Calm down!” he had to wrestle her. “Stay put, dammit!” he turned her around and they finally faced each other.

“You.” she spat.

“Well, I’m glad I see you pretty capable of handling yourself.”

“Why’d you do it? Why’d you stop me from ruining the man that ruined us?! Or you still think it was me?”

He closed his eyes, exhaling. “I know it wasn’t you. Can we talk?”

She hesitated for a bit.

“Yeah, we can talk.”

He led them to a bit more secluded area. He leaned on the railing, staring at the ocean. She stood beside him, nervously holding onto the railing.

“I thought you wanted to talk.” she said after a while when he didn’t say anything.

“I thought you wanted to talk as well.” he shot back.

She looked a bit taken aback.

"So you know?" she asked, refusing to meet his gaze.

He nodded. "James told me. So?"

“I don’t think I want to say the same things I wanted.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?” he challenged. “What changed, Elaine?”

“I thought you were dead, Harold!”

“Well, _you_ were dead, Elaine!” he shouted back.

She stood there with her eyes wide open.

“James gave me a promise to put you in a lifeboat, but then I found you in the water almost frozen to death! How do you think I feel?!”

Her mind was racing. She recalled her encounter with James before he put her in the lifeboat. Now she understood. Harold wasn’t dead, he just left some time before her. Instead of answering him, she started walking away.

“Where are you going now?”

“To find James.”

“James _is_ dead, Elaine.”

She stopped dead in her track. She turned on her heels.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” he hardly nodded his head.

She stood there silent for a few seconds.

“Well,” she started. “he kept his promise, just so you know. He did put me in a lifeboat. But then… other things happened.”

“Like what?”

“I can’t talk about it right now.” she shook her head. “Leave me alone, please.” she ran away before she started crying in front of him.

“Elaine, I—” but she was getting farther and farther from him. He closed his eyes and let a long sight.

News of the Titanic disaster rapidly spread on shore and the humble Carpathia became the center of intense media attention as she steamed westward towards New York at an average speed of 14 knots. RMS Carpathia took three days to reach New York after leaving the scene of the disaster. Her journey was slowed by pack ice, fog, thunderstorm and rough seas. Elaine spent her time mostly with what was left of her family. She didn’t avoid Harold, but she didn’t see him that often either, meaning there was no further encounters since the last one. Later she found out that the Caisons survived, all of them, when she accidentally ran into William. That only drove her more mad.

At 9.30pm on April 18th Carpathia docked at New York’s Pier 54 and was greeted by some 40,000 people waiting at the quayside in heavy rain. Immediate relief in the form of clothing and transportation to shelters was provided by the Women’s Relief Committee, the Travels Aid Society of New York and the Council of Jewish Women among other organizations. Many of the Titanic’s surviving passengers did not linger in New York, but headed onwards immediately to relatives’ home.

The ship's arrival in New York led to a frenzy of press interest, with newspapers competing to be the first to report the survivors' stories. When disembarking, Elaine felt overwhelmed by it. She hid her face behind her hands, not wanting to face anyone. She was aware of the big story that will come out of this, but the least they could do is respect their privacy. Badours then headed for their home in the city to finally get some rest.

Titanic's 214 surviving crew members were taken to the Red Star Line's steamer SS Lapland, where they were accommodated in passenger cabins awaiting inquiry that was about to start the next day. Immediately upon landing Harold was served with a warrant which called him to testify in the American inquiry into the sinking. He nodded his head in acknowledgment, securing the paper in his pocket.

When he finally found himself alone in his cabin, he took off his hat and let out a much-needed breath. He never felt this tired in his life. Even on Carpathia he had his duty as an officer and he couldn’t find the time for resting. Now he laid in bed, too tired to even change himself, and falling asleep. He knew he needed to prepare for things will only get messier and messier from here.

**_END OF PART ONE_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You read that right, my lovely readers! If you thought you were done with Harold and Elaine, I'm so sorry to inform you this is only the beginning. But first of all, I want to thank you, my readers, for reading this and supporting me. Without your help I wouldn't even finish this. And this is my first finished fanfiction ever! Thank you for every comment I kept going back to when I felt like giving up. To be honest, at one point I abandoned this whole story completely when I received an amazing comment that put me in the writing mode immediately. And because of you I was able to finish it. Now, did I do justice to this story you'll have to tell me. However, this whole story is under editing as of right now so you might want to come back and check that out in a while (first 7 chapters are already edited). I hope you didn't grow tired of my bullshit and are ready for the sequel because like Harold said, things are only going to get messier and messier. Are you ready for some court drama? ;)


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